We know that relationships can be hard, but LDR’s (long distance relationships) are even harder. When you’re missin’ bae and want to schmooze, but bae is 500 miles away? It’s the absolute fucking worst. But worry no longer — here are some tips to make a long distance relationship much, much easier!
1. In an LDR, communication is key.
Keep bae updated on your whereabouts so they feel like they’re with you every step of the way. This means a text when you leave your dorm, a call on the way to get coffee, and a Snapchat while you’re sitting on the toilet embracing the consequences of your caffeinated beverage. You can’t hook up from a distance, right? WRONG. You can still virtually “hook up” by webcasting a live feed of your day. Tape your ENTIRE day and then send it to bae so that they can check up on you whenever they want! If they can watch eight hours of you sleeping without being bored, they’re a keeper. Or a vampire… but probably not.
2. Send them a picture of every single meal you eat.
This includes those midnight Funyons you got from the vending machine, every sip of alcohol you consume at a party, and even your morning meds. This will really allow you and bae to keep in touch, and it’ll be like they’re sitting there with you every single time you shove something into your mouth! For extra love, give them all the juicy details about how that meal sits in your stomach and, you know, after that. If you’re not into texting, go old school and send them a half eaten piece of spaghetti in the mail. It’ll be just like Lady and the Tramp!
3. Update your sweetie’s friends with how your relationship is going.
Bae’s Aunt Tilda is going to love hearing stories about the progress of your sex life. Photoshop some pics of you and your boo so that you never have to be apart. Both of your Facebook friends will be stoked when you clog their newsfeed with photos of your future children.
4. Send bae sexy things in the mail.
Used underwear, old tissues, and stale, half-eaten candy will create intimate moments between you and bae, even if you’re on different continents. To get super romantic, send them mixtapes they won’t be able to play in their car or VHS tapes of your favorite movies they won’t be able to watch on TV.
5. Keep Sweetie updated on your bodily functions.
Did you burp impressively at lunch? Empty a room with your farts? Pee after holding it in for an entire seminar class? Been constipated for four days? Then you should probably see a doctor. But you should also probably tell Honeybun!
6. Show up to surprise them often, preferably with creative surprises!
Ride in on a horse while singing opera, or hold a hose over your head and make out with them so that it’s like you’re kissing in the rain. Who says Miley Cyrus is the only one allowed to ride in on a hot dog? Show up with five pizzas on their birthday. Hey, that sounds awesome! If anyone wants to do that for me, I’m single *hint hint*.
Well, there you go — these tips and tricks are sure to work! Now, you and your S.O. will be able to have a better LDR and make it work, work, work.
Image credits: Giphy.com