This week, we’re talking about the most important thing, like, ever. More important than voting or puppies or community service. That’s right: we’re talking about the perfect outfit for every occasion. Whether you’re going to coffee, the opera, or having a “sleepover,” we’ve (physically) got you covered!
Slumber Party
If you’re sleeping at bae’s house, opt for something effortless. Make sure that you look like you’ve just rolled out of bed, but more stylish. So that ratty t-shirt you slept in last night is perfect. Leaving your hair up in a messy bun is also pretty great. Sweatpants with pizza stains? Perfect. A t-shirt from middle school with your favorite Jonas Brother on it? Also perfect. Keep the accessories basic and accentuate your mouth by rocking your night guard.
Picnic
For a picnic, channel your inner I Love Lucy and get dolled up! Put on a giant full skirt or dress, spend five hours curling your hair, put on bright red lipstick (see Youtube star Miranda Sings for inspiration), and talk about how great Harry Truman was as president. Mention how colored television is overrated and how fulfilling it is to cook and clean.
Sightseeing
If you decide to spend a day on the town with your sweetie, embrace your inner dad. Wear khakis and a button down collared shirt, along with sunglasses that attach to a long black lanyard. This way, you won’t stick out too much among the tourists. Every time your sweetheart says “I’m hungry” or “I’m tired” respond with “Hi, Hungry. I’m dad.” Nothing will make the two of you feel closer than pretending you’re related!
Musical Performance
If you’re going to a concert, opt for something themed, like Taylor Swift or N’Sync. Wear all of their merchandise from head to toe, even if you’re not going to one of their concerts. Music is heavily based on appropriation, and what better way to honor the performers than rocking apparel with the faces of their musical elders?
Outdoor Adventures
Going skydiving with an adventurous S.O. sounds fun, but if you’re not dressed as a bird, you’re going to have 100% less fun, so go in costume. Wear some great wings or a jumpsuit covered in feathers. You will literally feel as free as a bird or a flying squirrel or a beer can that’s just been launched from a rocket on the South Quad by Old K.
Bowling
Going bowling? Here’s how to make sure that the only time you strike out is on the scoreboard: get an outfit that’s noticeable and eccentric enough to match your glow-in-the-dark bowling shoes! Make your eyes pop by choosing a bowling ball that is the most vibrant version of the “windows to your soul” (neon brown will open up a whole new wardrobe world to you). Wear all neon. Get that overdone, 1960’s Star Trek character look on point.
Now you’re ready to take on every occasion without worrying about dress code! Next time your boss asks you out and you can’t find the balance between hot and business-casual, you can depend on us. Good luck out there, little fashionistas!
Image credits: Giphy.com