I woke up early this morning.
Now, normally, that kind of sentence doesn’t excite me. But I guess it’s sort of different when you have to wake up early, compared to the days you choose to wake up early just because. I took a shower and got dressed and then I walked to the coffee shop and I got myself a latte and a bagel (which are two of my favorite things in the entire world), and then I found a spot outside to eat them before going to class. I had a really kickass acoustic playlist going, and the morning was chilly still, but the sun was just starting to warm things up a little bit more. It was a kind of peace that I haven’t had many chances to find since moving to Ohio in August, and something I found myself really grateful for.
Today is also the culmination of a week-long exercise I did with myself to try and record the things that went well for me during the day and to be more aware of my gratitude for those things. I bought myself the Moleskine journal I’d been looking for an excuse to get for, like, years, and on top of using it for thoughts and doodles, I’ve been using it to start taking note of the things I wanted to remember to say thank you for.
Suddenly in my life, bad things weren’t so bad and good things got all the better. The conscious decision to be aware more often of all the amazing things I had in front of me put so much into perspective. The bluejay outside my English class window wasn’t just a bird; it was beautiful and unexpected and something I didn’t want to write off as everyday. Last weekend’s Chinese-takeout-and-90’s-movie party with my friends wasn’t just an ordinary night; it was a really cool moment spent with really cool friends that I don’t want to start taking advantage of. Even the sky seemed to get a little more beautiful every day. My general spirits raised an entire octave, and things that were bringing me down started to just roll off my back.
There was a moment Saturday night when it came full circle—I’d call it a coincidence, but I really don’t believe in those. I was wandering campus by myself pretty late at night, I guess on my way back to my dorm, but I wasn’t ready to call it a night yet and was looking for an opportunity to present itself. And present itself it did. I ended up running into someone that I’d talked to maybe two or three times before, and a friend of his. They invited me to walk around with them for a while, and I immediately felt comfortable being myself around them because of how easygoing they were. Somewhere an hour or two into hanging out, they stopped and thanked me. Just for being who I was, and having that person be someone who got along so well with them. As I was in the middle of making a note to be thankful for running into the two of them, they took it a step farther and actually thanked me verbally.
I realized then that a lot of the time making note of being thankful was one thing, but it meant so much more to actually express that gratitude. I started to thank friends more often for spending time with me, teachers for answering questions helpfully, loved ones from back home for calling me when I was stressed. I’m starting to get into the habit of it by now, which is something I think I can be grateful for in itself.
Print by Emily Rose Ink
Image Credit: Annmarie Morrison