Shock Your Mom was long-ago deemed Kenyon’s “party of the year.” Hosted by the Lords and Ladies swim teams, SYM is renowned campus-wide, as well as outside of the Kenyon bubble (it has its own entry in Urban Dictionary and got a shout-out in Playboy magazine).
In retrospect, the hype surrounding the party is what I can only describe as excessive. As a freshman with little concept of how “crunk” parties could get, I placed much esteem on the legends of the infamous bash which upperclassmen began spreading to the eager, impressionable first-years during the beginning of the school year. SYM was portrayed as a mad house teeming with half-naked students and booze – which it was, but it lacked the zeal that Kenyon parties typically possess. Read on for a comparison of the expectations and the (lack-luster, but still fun) reality of SYM 2014!
Expectation: Minimal Clothing, Much Alcohol Reality: Minimal Clothing, Much AlcoholThis year’s SYM was consistent with years past in terms of the scandalous costume choices and the high levels of alcohol consumption (some things never change). I imagine it would be a bit taxing on the soul to experience an affair like Shock Your Mom without a sufficient amount of liquor. The most outlandish costume I witnessed was that of the DKE pledges who, dressed as babies, wore only diapers and pacifier-necklaces. Costume choices ranged from clever to racy, but, of course, the best ones were a happy medium of the two.
Expectation: Non-Stop Dancing Reality: Start/Stop Music that Inhibited Non-Stop DancingIn my opinion, what “makes” a party is the quality of the dancing, and thus the music. SYM 2014 experienced technical difficulties and the music kept starting and stopping which made a non-stop dance party not exactly possible. Disappointing.
Expectation: Reign on till 2AM (or even later) Reality: Fizzled Out Around 1AMMost parties tend to die out around 1AM when energy levels dip, people couple-up, nausea sets in, or party-goers decide that it’s Cove o’clock. Many freshmen, however, expected SYM to be an exception. We expected the festivities to continue into the wee hours of the night. As early as midnight, however, the party atmosphere seemed to take a hit and people fled the scene relatively early.
Expectation: Sex on the Dance Floor Reality: A Normal Amount of PDAA couple falling to the floor while continuing to make-out, someone taking off a girl’s shirt and throwing it into the crowd: These are only some of the stories I had heard about SYM, none of which I witnessed at SYM 2014. Not that I’m complaining about this! It was relatively tame, and while this does leave me with a dearth of stories when I expected to have an abundance – I am thankful to not have been scarred for life.
Expectation: Post-SYM ShenanigansReality: Weirder Post-SYM Shenanigans Than One Would ImagineI am an odd duck (and have no qualms about admitting this) so I’m no longer confounded when I find myself in bizarre situations. My post-SYM shenanigans, however, were something truly memorable. I met one guy who I refused to address by his real name (for whatever reason I doubted his sincerity when he introduced himself) – needless to say, he was very confused. My night also found me stargazing on the Mather Field, drinking from the “Fountain of Youth” (a carton of milk stolen from the Caples fridge), kidnapping a Pillow Pet, and ordering an absurd amount of food from both the Cove and Papa John’s (3 orders of mac and cheese wedges, chicken fingers, mozzarella sticks, and three large pizzas). This was divided among 10 of us, but still . . . our delivery orders could’ve fed a small army.
Now is the time to answer the truly important question: SYM 2014 – success or flop? Despite the many instances in which this post seemed to suggest otherwise, I would deem SYM 2014 a definite success! And finally, a big congratulations to the Lords and Ladies on yet another fantastic season!