When I was little, I was bossy. Or at least, everyone told me I was bossy. I knew that wasn’t necessarily meant as flattering, but I worked to make the best of it and take ownership of the term. I even put a keychain on my backpack that said, “I’m not bossy, I’m just always right.” It was my way of showing the people around me that being bossy could be something to be proud of.
I don’t know what happened to that keychain—it may have gotten thrown out, it may be hiding in a box of junk under my bed—but now that the Ban Bossy campaign is taking the Internet by storm, I’ve been thinking about it a lot.
It all really started last year when Sheryl Sandberg, the chief operating officer of Facebook, (and the first woman to serve on the board!) published Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead. The book was intended to encourage and help women achieve more success in their careers, but it spiraled into an entire movement dedicated to empowering women in all realms of life. More recently, LeanIn.org joined forces with the Girl Scouts and started Ban Bossy, which shifted the focus to young girls.
The mission of Ban Bossy is simple enough: Stop using words like ‘bossy’ to describe girls. Whether or not you realize it, language like this has the power to make or break someone’s self-confidence, and the campaign makes clarifies exactly how big of a problem this is by citing statistics that compare comparing girls and boys:
- “Between elementary and high school, girls’ self-esteem drops 3.5 times more than boys’.”
- “Girls are twice as likely as boys to worry that leadership roles will make them seem ‘bossy.’”
- “Girls get less airtime in class. They are called on less and interrupted more.” (Source: banbossy.com)
The Ban Bossy message is being backed by strong advocates for women and girls: Beyonce, Jennifer Garner, Jane Lynch, Diane von Furstenburg and Condoleezza Rice are all featured in one of the campaigns ads along with Jimmie Johnson (a NASCAR champion) and Arne Duncan. Others, such as Victoria Beckham, have tweeted their support for the campaign.
Of course, the campaign has been met with some criticism, as many people are pointing to the fact that there is a difference between being bossy and being a leader. And should young girls be praised for having “leadership skills” when they might just be bossy or bullies?
Here’s the thing, our society has made language gendered. Just watch this Pantene ad (which also met criticism, but that’s beside the point) that shows how women and men are often labeled differently for doing the exact same thing. Ban Bossy may not be a comprehensive solution for all the issues women face, but it’s a step in the right direction.
Whatever it might take to boost girls’ confidence is worth trying, especially if it’s something as easy and obvious as treating people with respect. The keychain I had when I was nine might have been a cute way to play down the effect of name calling, but an even more effective way to promote a positive self-image for all children (not just girls) is to avoid belittling them and help them recognize their own potential as leaders.
If you believe that banning bossy is a worthy campaign, visit banbossy.com and pledge your support!