When you search the word “mindfulness” on Google, the usual links pop up with definitions on Wikipedia and various psychology website sources. In addition, there are articles about the importance of mindfulness for your brain, your productivity, and how to start embedding mindfulness into your daily life.
But what is it? I admit, my initial thought was a rather antiquated way to describe being aware of your surroundings. However, looking at the actual definition reveals that this idea goes a bit further than that.
mindfulness: a state of active, open attention to the present (Psychology Today)
Mindfulness is not simply about being aware of what is around you. It is about being present in what is happening in the moment. The aspect that affects me most is that it also encourages self-awareness to an extent that I feel is typically overlooked. It is understanding who you are, of course, but also how you feel, how you react to the things around you, and how that reaction affects your mindset in a situation as it continues. Add a nonjudgmental approach to this awareness, and you have the very basics of mindfulness. Mindfulness is partially self-compassion and partially self-awareness.
I had never encountered the idea of mindfulness until very recently. I think it might have been August of last year. I was watching a video titled “Mindfulness” from a Youtuber named Alayna. I mostly watched it because it features a creator I really enjoy, Ashley Mardell, and was shocked by how much the video moved me. Alayna has anxiety, as I do, and repeated in this video (and the two that follow that I have also watched multiple times since they were uploaded) about how incorporating mindfulness techniques has changed her life. I leapt at the chance that there was something out there that could help me when I was so far out of my comfort zone already, about to leave the country for the first time and live in a country that doesn’t speak English and far away from everyone I love who could help me through it.
In my experience, she was right. Mindfulness techniques have altered the way I lived my life. I don’t know if I have exactly shown how so let me break it down a bit further by splitting it into two parts:
First of all, mindfulness comes from being present. It is about also being aware of what you are feeling and what is going on around you. Imagine this: you are sitting in Peirce and start feeling very anxious. For me, my heart starts racing, and I feel like I need to run and hide or maybe get extremely nauseous. Okay, you notice it. Your immediate reaction is to tell yourself to stop, that you don’t have time for these feelings, and that it needs to shove off so you can do your reading for class tomorrow. However, mindfulness is about acknowledging it is there, that it is happening and it is valid, and also that it is what it is. Just be. For me, it helps to be aware that while I am letting it happen, it feels like the end of the world, like everything is awful, but it will pass. Misery is not permanent, though neither is happiness. Feelings fluctuate, and you have to let them come and go as they do. You are present, and from time to time, things are what they are. Trying to change the way you feel because you do not think you should be feeling that way only makes things worse. If you do that, you are being unkind and critical of your own feelings, which leads to part two.
The second part—and perhaps the most important part as well—is to view these things of which you are becoming aware without judgment. You heard me. We are our own worst critic, and critiquing our own (especially bad) behavior only makes us feel worse. Being aware of our own feelings does not mean just seeing that they are there. It is noticing them, accepting (which is different that tolerating!!) them, and not judging them. Condemning our own bad behavior is how we think we can learn to not do the thing again, but it is also acting as a punishment to ourselves for being human and for making mistakes. And there are so many studies out there about how bad it is for your future development if you do not allow yourself failure and mistakes, but that is a whole different story.
Alayna has the perfect comparison for this idea. If we had friends who spoke to us the way we often speak to ourselves, you would not be their friend for very long. Sometimes, we are so harsh and mean to ourselves, especially when we notice ourselves behaving in ways we think are incorrect or exaggerated. That is unfair and unfounded. As Alayna suggests in one of her Positive Psychology videos, treat yourself the way you would treat a friend or loved one going through the same experience. You will be shocked by how that changes your perspective on your own behavior.
However, I do not want to imply that this is an easy transition. It is challenging and difficult to unravel the way we were brought up by our families and by society to act towards ourselves. I am still working hard at it every day to ensure I am treating myself as well as I treat my wonderful friends. We deserve to be treated well, and that starts with us.
Instead of immediately jumping to judging ourselves, tearing ourselves down for being upset or making a mistake, mindfulness prompts us to take a step back first. You become aware of what you are feeling and from where it is coming. Instead of tearing yourself to shreds with worry or stress or anxiety the next time something goes wrong, I recommend trying to disconnect from your immediate reaction, let yourself feel and respond to it, and then let it pass. It will always pass eventually.
There are several ways to get started on being mindful. For beginner’s information of understanding this concept, I found this page from UC Berkeley very helpful for going beyond the basic definition. Since Mindfulness has roots in Buddhist meditation practices, Mindful.org has a portion of the meditation section of their website all about getting started with being mindful. It has some meditation and yoga tips in addition to general tips for altering your mindset.
One of my favorite resources, as mentioned above, is Alayna. She studied psychology and is in the process of starting a video series called Positive Psychology, beginning with her videos on self-compassion and mindfulness. I find her videos moving because she is both speaking as someone who wrote her thesis on mindfulness and also as someone who has used the techniques to better her own life. She is serious, informative, and curious about the topic, but also funny and willing to make the ideas interesting.
There are also tons of books available about mindfulness. I haven’t read any, but I am starting with The Miracle of Mindfulness by Thich Nhat Hanh, as recommended by the previously mentioned Alayna and going from there.
For a more extensive exploration into where mindfulness came from and its Buddhist philosophical beginnings, Wikipedia is always a trusty place to start.
Instead of letting your mind being overwhelmed by the stress and madness of life, why not be mindful of the world in which we live?
Image Credit: YouTube, University of Michigan, Sideways Thoughts, Mindful.org, Daily Good