This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Kenyon chapter.
It’s that time of year when the department stores think it’s Christmas and the trees are embarrassed to be naked; the time to let the air back in those spacebags full of knitwear and pack up the short shorts that leave your thighs defenseless against the highly adhesive properties of hot car seats. However, this far into November, it is not the cutesy autumn of September, ripe with the woody scent of two freshly sharpened Ticonderogas, the whimsical Halloween costumes and refreshing, relaxing apple picking. No, we are currently in the midst of the throng of horrible weeks after the wide-eyed enthusiasm brought on by Parent’s Weekend and Halloween has worn off. Dumped on by pounds of mid-semester work and disheartened by weeks of desolate, overcast skies and lowering temperatures, it’s easy to think this might be the end. Here are some ways to perk yourself up by visiting your local pharmacy:
1. Ways to Escape
- When the weather begins to turn sour without the benefit of the ________________ (insert favorite winter solstice celebration here) season, I like to imagine that I am not in the middle of nowhere, in the middle of a state that’s in the middle of America, but instead somewhere exotic and exciting. One way to do this is to visit CVS’s travel aisle. Here, I like to inquire loudly if all the teeny bottles are in fact 3 oz as per the TSA’s strict requirements, declaring that I can’t possibly go to Monaco without my mini Listerine.
- Another way to achieve a transcendent experience in your local pharmacy is to visit the bath and body products aisle, and ready your nostrils. I find that before I can buy a shampoo or body wash, I have to test it, by engaging every olfactory cell in my nose. I flick open the tops of shampoo bottles, discreetly but oh so sensuously choosing soaps titled things like “Everlasting Sunshine.” I imagine myself wearing a sundress, looking like Taylor Swift, swaying under a blue sky in a field of barley while Ryan Gosling, dressed like Marcus Mumford (second from right) comes running through the tall crop to pick me up Dirty Dancing style.
- If the efforts to imagine myself far from Mount Vernon seem too exhausting, I always try to work with what I’ve got. I like to pretend I have a rich, generous friend who illustrates his affection for me by buying me bags and bags of useless items to help improve my life (though he thinks I’m perfect already). While this friend is clearly just me minus the extra cash and love for myself, there is still something rewarding in looking at the back wall of beauty products. The tubes, cases, brushes, gels and hair removal tools glisten in their plastic wrapping like the shiny eyes of Sam the Puppy.
- Though I already mentioned why this time of year is dreary enough to make me want to live in my snuggie, there are some benefits to this transitional season I will now call “Finter” or “Wintumn.” Mainly what I’m addressing here is the sales on old Halloween candy. Sure, those mini snickers were supposed to go to a wide-eyed first grader in an Iron Man costume, but…you snooze, you lose.
- The main goal of enjoying CVS is to not forget the self-pampering mission. Even as I stand in line I remember that it’s okay for me to buy Soap Opera Digest, or two canisters of Bubble Tape. Do I feel like an idiot for succumbing to marketing execs ploys to buy things as I leave simply because such things are there? Yes. But do I feel proud reading about fired Days of Our Lives stars while rolling out a red carpet of gum? Sort of.
3. Beat the Boredom
- Maybe you make a trip to the pharmacy as an ugly change of scenery after staring at majestic Ascension all day. Well, CVS can also just be a place to hang out or be deserted at, for those of you (read: freshman) waiting for the shuttle. One way I like to fill time is by settling down in the magazine aisle. Helpful tip: don’t stay there too long, otherwise the staff will yell at you for not buying the copy of Men’s Health with David Beckham on the cover. I love browsing magazines I would never actually want to be seen buying but totally want to read. In order to cloak my true desires, I often pick up Cosmo asking loudly what kind of pervs want to learn how to masturbate with only a ballpoint pen and a loofah, treating my interest in the article as a purely sociological one.
- I also love crafts more than the average person in the 18-24 age bracket, so I can waste quite a few hours oohing and ahhing over Crayola products, picking out Planet Earth coloring books, or trying to narrow down which velvet poster art I want. You also never know when you need more office supplies. CALL IN THE REINFORCEMENTS!
- Going to the pharmacy can also help you learn more about yourself. For instance, I enjoy parading up and down the hair dye aisle, stretching my bangs to the boxes lined up, trying to determine if my natural hair color is caramel, golden, ash or even spice brown. This is also a great way to make yourself feel more exotic. With my newfound knowledge that my hair is not simply brown, I picture myself responding with something like: “Oh, my hair color? Yes, I’d say it’s a little lighter than mocha, and a somewhat darker than Australian sugar palm.”
- Lastly, to truly get the most bang for your CVS buck, invite your friends. While I could spend a truly embarrassing amount of time flying solo, buying myself tampons and (rather conveniently located) chocolate, it is all the more fun to have a sidekick[12] who will try on children’s sunglasses with you, or talk you out of buying a corn shaver
for that “special someone?” However, if there is any time it feels especially appropriate to purchase something as hilariously horrible as that, ‘tis the season. I think the SAD lights are in aisle 3.