People say college is the most freeing time of your life. When I stepped into our Krea campus for the first time two months ago. The drive to the campus with those old, cliché Bollywood songs playing in my AirPods felt freeing. Walking to the academic block to officially register as a student felt free. Setting up my room and talking to new people gave me the feeling of starting from scratch and feeling free. As each day passed, I started adjusting to my new surroundings and getting used to college life. I started looking forward to creating a new routine, making new friends and being the responsible young adult I wanted to be.
Before I knew it, I was making decisions.
The decision of when I should give my laundry, or when I should change my bedsheet. The decision of how often I should go to Copamocha, and the decision of how often to call my parents. Suddenly, I oversaw my life – I couldn’t be “just a girl” anymore; I was the young woman shaping her future. In my eyes, freedom of choice is indeed a drug. One that gets you addicted hard and fast and makes you yearn for more with each decision you make.
However, I truly understood the impact of my decisions the night before my ESH exam. As I sat in the library preparing for it, I remember doing my reading, half-asleep, cursing myself, praying it somehow gets cancelled. This was nothing I hadn’t experienced before, but the difference was that I knew why I was in this position. At home, I had my parents nagging me when they saw me procrastinating. But on campus, I was solely responsible for myself.
Taking care of myself was entirely on my shoulders, and honestly, it was pretty overwhelming. Knowing I have to trust a whole new set of people to help me if I fall. Trust has never come easy to me. Still, slowly late-night conversations in each others’ rooms, telling each other about our school lives, drinking chai, and eating Cheese Maggi were small things that brought us together. The 1 am New Narsi runs just as it’s about to close, or sitting at the student hub with friends, crying about the workload while not doing anything about it. Little moments like those reminded me of my freedom yet again. It comforted me knowing I could choose the people I surround myself with. It was nice to know that if I wanted to, I could talk to them all night but also get up and leave if I had an early class the next day. I took solace in knowing that all decisions were mine to make.
Fast forwarding to now: a few months into college, and slowly, I’m getting used to my freedom. I no longer feel the need to stay up till 3 am. I know not to because I would instead make myself proud by doing something productive with the freedom I have. Striking a balance was what I was missing, and trying to maintain that balance is a challenge, yet I feel a sense of freedom in knowing that I can decide how I intend to maintain it.Â