I want to preface this article by saying – I am all for Girl Talk. I think that it is needed now more than ever, with young, impressionable girls being so easily swayed by social media, and there has to be some guiding factor in their lives. Of course, the obvious answer might be for her to seek help from her parents, but when did any young girl listen to what her parents were telling her? I am truly grateful for the plethora of podcasts, reels, influencers, etc., all acting for the benefit of these young women, and I would be lying to you if I said that I don’t follow a couple of them myself.
But, one day, while listening to one of these podcasts, I found myself going down a rabbit hole. I looked at the episodes of the podcast I listened to, reading their titles as I scrolled. “How to get over a breakup”, “Hygiene tips”, or even “How to get him to fall in love in no time”. I’ve learned better than judging a book by its cover, so I listened to some of these episodes. While I think all of these are very valid topics to discuss (maybe apart from the last one), their frequency raised a red flag for me. In almost every other podcast I explored, commonly all had episodes revolving around men, hygiene, and finding love. And it made me ask myself – is that all that femininity constitutes? And who set such standards for girl talk?
Yes, these are all big topics. Yes, they are important. But are they so important that they sneak back into almost every podcast? If you sit down and think about it, these don’t even cover 1% of the things that women deal with every day of their lives. But we can’t even blame the media for this disaster. Over time, society has set such harsh do’s and don’t’s for women – how to speak, act, dress, what to say and what to keep private. Thus, all that is left to discuss openly are these same old topics. An example of one episode I listened to that discussed men, boyfriends, situationships and finding love in the current generation comes to mind. As I listened, I could find myself being able to relate and wanting to follow the advice given in the episode. However, I slowly realized the reason why I wanted to was because of the way my current habits were defamed indirectly.
The advice these women gave in these podcasts was to let the man “chase you”. They enforced rules, encouraging women not to act in a way that made them feel that they needed them. Some even advised to keep oneself so busy that you do not get a chance to even think about him, ultimately making him reach out. This made me realize all my life, whether it was TV shows, movies, videos, etc. I had seen this stereotype that women are the “clingy ones” in the relationship. All the media I consumed justified that the reason why men cheat in relationships is because their women give them too much importance. Perhaps I could relate because I had been programmed to believe that, as a woman, I should control my emotions. It reinforced the idea that my emotions can get “get too much to handle” and I should show the least bit of interest to find love, even if I feel the exact opposite of that.
But not all is lost. There are still some great podcasts, influencers, and videos that pursue other topics, such as using meditation, journaling, etc, to feel empowered, tackling low self-esteem in the age of social media, and even tips on navigating work environments in men-dominated fields. Some of these have nailed it by encouraging conversation on issues faced by women at several ages that are troublesome – may it be feminine rage or menopause, which may not be seen as acceptable by society due to them still being considered controversial or complex topics. That is the sad part. But unfortunately, it is what it is for now. I am sure though, considering the age and time that we are in now, it should not take a lot of time for us to collectively overcome the stigma of certain topics as set by society in the past.
To summarize, Girl Talk is complex in this modern day and age. It has different facets, with different women having different battles to fight almost every day. The media may play a role in perpetuating these norms under the guise of helping women, but we must realise that it’s time to talk about the things that matter to us as women. The restrictive bounds of what is “acceptable” and what is not can only be shattered if we don’t let society’s rules define our daily conversations. To all the women reading this, I would say – please don’t let society define what you can or cannot talk and think about. People will talk behind your back, no matter what you do. And so, what if they judge you? Just know that a real woman will always support another woman, even if the conversation is about the most bizarre topic. Because we, women, know how to talk. And that is an impeccable thing.