What does it mean to be inadequate? According to the Google definition, the word “inadequacy” suggests a lack of something – the state of not being enough. In a world that constantly strives for excellence, it can seem like there’s no room for anyone that’s less than perfect and the pressure to achieve that perfection can be crushing. But what’s with the stigma surrounding the notion of “inadequacy” anyway and how did it become so prevalent?
A recent discussion with a school friend precipitated the following realization: in school, students tend to belong to the same “league.” There isn’t much variation in terms of the abilities of each student, and the average student ambles through most of their school life under the impression that completing assignments on time and participating in one odd extracurricular activity is enough. Then you enter university – a scene that acts as a microcosm of the outside world in which it accommodates more diversity than a relatively sheltering institution like school – and even the most brilliant student’s self-image takes a hit. University is a time for self-discovery – a revolutionization of the self – but very few are able to embark on that journey without a fair share of existential crises darkening their doorstep first. In the most frustrating tango in the world – an agonizing “one-step-forward two-steps-back” process – we all find ourselves balancing the tightrope of growth and improvement. But in the meanwhile, until you’ve bridged the seemingly insurmountable distance between point A and point B, you can take one of two approaches to tackle this conundrum of feeling inadequate:
- Come to Terms with the Current Version of Yourself
It’s easy to be influenced by the villainization of the “average” individual. But there is a certain amount of bravery required to not be exceptional as well, as illustrated by J.D Salinger in the following quote from Franny and Zoey: “I’m sick of not having the courage to be an absolute nobody.”
The qualities of being special or prodigious have come to be so valued recently that not enough credit is given to us for simply making it through the day in one piece. This is because the climate itself is such today that excellence is required of every individual. But there is some merit to the logic that if everyone was unique, technically, no one would be unique. Everyone possesses a certain amount of individuality, and everyone has something to bring to the table, no matter how significant or insignificant that contribution may be. This is a notion that most of us might need to recalibrate our brains to understand: you don’t have to be the employee of the month for six months in a row to be doing a good job or considered successful. It’s actually these tenuous and loosely-defined buzzwords like “successful” that fetter our progression toward a culture that recognises the multiplicity of true success. The paradox, essentially, is as follows – the sooner you come to terms with what you might think of as your own mediocrity, the more likely you are to reach excellence. And if no amount of platitudes seems to work, or if this approach isn’t “active” enough for your liking, you can always take the next train, which leads us to the second prong of our two-pronged approach.
- Build Your Dream Skillset
Recently, I’d started watching crocheting videos with renewed interest and when I visited home during the break, I burrowed into my grandmother’s stash of knitting supplies and sat with those supplies and videos for hours until I could, quite literally, untangle the mess and make something of it. I might not necessarily have been good at it right off the bat, but the fact that working on acquiring a new skill puts me so much closer to the dream version of myself I have in mind is reassuring beyond explanation.
An existential crisis I recently found myself caught in the current of, has culminated into me creating a bucket list of expectations that I have for myself, which I intend on working my way through during the four years of my undergraduate degree. Realizing the skill-set that I envision the dream version of myself to possess on paper in such a way helps me come to grips with what I’m working with currently. This, together with a feasible timeline within which to build that repository gives me something concrete to work towards in the future.
The surfeit of skills in another always has a way of accentuating the lack of your own, if there exists such a lack. In a culture that assumes the form of an unforgiving rat-race, it’s essential to remember that patience is a virtue, one that is crucial to a process as time-consuming as growth.