1. The word “clo-pening” sends a cold, sickening shiver down your spine.
Because who doesn’t love the idea of working until close, only to turn around and open at the crack of dawn the next day?
2. You: *Has trouble getting item to scan* Customer: “HAHA MUST BE FREE, RIGHT?” You:
Yeah. Never heard that one before.
3. You: “Hi! How are you today?” Customer: “…”
4. When your manager asks if you’d “mind” staying until close.
5. When the person replacing you decides not to show up for their shift on time.
6. When a customer decides to take time out of their day to tell you all the things wrong with the store that you have absolutely no control over.
7. When it hits November and instead of getting excited about Thanksgiving like everyone else in the world, you’re dreading the approaching doom that is Black Friday.
8. When you hand the customer their receipt and they spend five minutes holding up the line examining it because they’re “sure” you didn’t ring up their purchase correctly.
Please, tell me more about that 25 cent coupon I “didn’t” give you.
9. When you’re out enjoying your day off and your heart drops at the sound of your phone ringing when you see the store is calling.
WHY? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY??!!
10. You know that the mysterious “back room” where all the secret merchandise is hiding from customers is an urban myth, and every time someone asks you to check, it takes 20 minutes to explain this fact to them.
I’M NOT SAYING NO BECAUSE I’M LAZY AND DON’T WANT TO CHECK, Â I’M SAYING NO BECAUSE NOTHING IS BACK THERE!!!
11. You know that no amount of hatred will ever be measurable to that of the people who decide to come on in and shop five minutes before closing.
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12. You die inside every time you hear one of the same five songs that play on a continuous loop every day, all day, NON-STOP.
It’s not true what they say. Ed Sheeran and Sam Smith CAN get old.
13. Sometimes you consider picking up smoking if it means you get to have a five minute break every hour.
14. You know the difference between regular time and working the register time.
HOW HAS IT ONLY BEEN FIVE MINUTES?
15. The feeling of vomit creeping up your throat when a customer hands you damp money.
WHERE HAS THIS BEEN? WHY IS IT WET? WHAT DID I JUST TOUCH???????
16. The speed walk you do to clock out when you’re off before anyone can ask you to do anything else.
17. When your boss is looking for someone to clean the restrooms.
18. Knowing the only people who will ever truly understand you are your coworkers.
19. But at the end of the day, you know you need this job, and it could be a lot worse.
Final stage: Acceptance.Â