What do you do when Halloween is here and you still have zero ideas for a costume? As a seasoned professional in procrastination, I’ve got a few last-minute ideas that are cheap, easy and original. Sure, when you tell people what you are, you’ll likely get a concerned once-over and a forced “ohhhh…!” but I can guarantee you won’t have an identical costume to four other girls at the party this year.
1. Ghost
This is a stereotypical costume that is surprisingly very rare—but why? It has all the sexy mystery of an eye mask and the sensible functionality of a warm afghan. It may seem too obvious, but when you’re really in a pinch, an old sheet is an easy get.
This could also pass for that cute ghost emoji if you wanna take it a level deeper.
2. Clickbait Headline
Tie a piece of paper below your neck that says something like “Doctors HATE Her!” or “Better Stop Googling Yourself.” Not only does your face barely have to correlate with the description, but people will be extremely intrigued and ask a lot of questions. It’s a simple costume and an irresistible ice breaker. Clique-bait! (I’ll see myself out.)
Does it make sense? No. Do we need to know what this is about? Sigh…yes.
3. Another Year
I’m not talking the classic “1960s Hippie” or “1980s Workout Girl.” I’m talking “Why-do-I still-have-800-Silly-Bandz-wait-is-that-a-pair-of-thigh-high-boots-in-my-closet-I-wore-those-what-like-three-times-oh-dear-god-was-this-bucket-hat-supposed-to-be-ironic-what-was-I-thinking 2010s Chick.”
Bonus points if you can throw it back even further and cop a pair of gauchos.
4. Fetty Hop
Ok, this one is a bit of a stretch, but hear me out– bunny ears are pretty easy to find, and so are a few dollar bills to carry in a pile like they’re thousands on thousands. You wanna be 80 percent bunny and 20 percent Fetty, or vice versa? There’s a lot of flexibility here.
Forget rationality. We’re being TOPICAL!
5. Abraham Lincoln Chafee
Speaking of topical, why not try out the juxtaposition of two great American politicos before the Chafee jokes start to get old? Here’s all you need to pull this off: a top hat, a tie, an adorably goofy smile and a weird thing for puns.
I tried to think of a good Bernie or Hillary mashup, but their names didn’t offer many options. Let’s just give Chafee his moment to shine.
6. A Friend
One of my all time favorite costumes was when two of my friends showed up to school on Halloween dressed in a typical “me” outfit with pictures of my face as masks. All you need is a printer, some similar clothing and a surprise plan to emulate an unsuspecting friend.
I swear I didn’t pay them to do this.
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