“In girl world, Halloween is the one night a year when a girl can dress like a total—- and no other girls can say anything about it”- Regina George (I love Regina for that, I really do. It was the most real thing about her).
Growing up, however, I found myself gravitating towards interesting costumes that I never really got to be, but in hindsight, wish I had been able to be. Being fully grown now, I have a list of costumes that I have had in the back of my mind that are absolutely hilarious. Here are some genius/funny Halloween costumes that everyone should consider being!
- Barney
I have had this vision for what feels like a century, but I have never been able to execute it. Barney the purple dinosaur is the perfect costume and here’s why: It is nostalgic and many people will know who he is. Beyond that, it is super easy to do. Find a sparkly dress or 2 piece set, get some elbow length green gloves, some generic sneakers, and of course, purple-eyeshadow and some banger eye makeup. You’ll look great, I promise. To amp it up a bit, consider giving yourself a chest tattoo saying “Barney”. I recommend this as it makes the costume that much edgier and college-friendly.
- GILF
Hear me out. Be a smexy grandma for Halloween. You won’t regret it. You might be wondering “well how does one pull that off?”. Fear not, I have just the costume for you. Grab any white crop top and short floral skirt from your closet. Now find a cooking apron and throw that on too. Pour a bottle of dry shampoo on the top of your head and put it into a low bun. Find your cutest loafers and throw on a pair of glasses attached to a string that you wear around your neck. Voila! You are set. No trick or treater has ever looked so good.
- The Man in the Yellow Hat
I used to watch “Curious George” religiously as a kid. Every morning that show would come on I felt myself getting more and more entranced by the man in the yellow hat. I am not sure if it was because he was dressed in neon yellow, or if he was an empathetic man (rare). Regardless, I think the man in the yellow hat would be an incredible costume. Plus, it is as simple as a dimple. If you can get your hands on neon yellow shorts or a skirt and a yellow button down, you are solid. That is half the outfit right there. Top it off with a banana prop, some knee high boots and a pointy yellow hat. You may not know where to find a pointy yellow hat. I got you. Take any hat you can find and duct tape it with yellow duct tape. You’ll be the yellowest star on the block.
- Little Lad: Berries and Cream dude
This one. This one is good. Not only will it be familiar to anyone who wastes their life away on Tiktok (aka me), but it will get everyone turning heads (out of fear). Grab any lace cloth or fabric and tape it under a dark green/black button down that you may have (or a crop top if that is more your vibe) Find some white scrunchies and put them on your wrists. Scrunch up some sweatpants up to your knees. Throw on some knee-high white socks and slip your feet into your favorite loafers. Now, listen carefully. To commit to the role, you may have to cut your hair and give yourself bangs. However, if you are too scared to do that, don’t worry. You can also just buy a wig, whatever is easier.
- Flashback Mary
I know what you are thinking. James Charles is basically social media dead. However, flashback Mary will never get old for me, and I hope that’s the case for you. If you aren’t familiar with flashback Mary, have a look on google (I am sorry in advance). This costume is easy and affordable. All you need is a white crewneck, and white shorts. To commit to the costume, buy some coffin-shaped white press-on nails. Wear any black baseball cap (preferably an Adidas one). Now, onto the makeup which is the best part. Wear any Burgundy red lipstick, do your eyebrows perfectly, and do your eye makeup as you usually would. Now, wear a super light foundation color and pack on Laura Mercier translucent powder on your face until you feel powder particles in your nose, throat, and eyeballs. The look is complete. Flashback Mary for the win.
- Trisha Paytas’ baby: Malibu barbie
We all know Trisha Paytas just had a baby and decided to name her “Malibu Barbie”. I have a love hate relationship with that name, but for Halloween purposes, I adore it. Even though Malibu Barbie is a literal infant, we can still dress up as a Malibu Barbie. Wear an all pink outfit, pink sunglasses, and throw your hair in a blond wig (if you aren’t blonde already). Now, if you are over 21, grab a bottle of Malibu rum. To top it all off, put a pacifier in your mouth or a bib on your neck. You are Malibu Barbie now. Literally.
- Wendy William’s as the Statue of Liberty
When I was a middle-schooler I would waste away my summer days on youtube until hours turned into days. One of the best youtube eras was when conspiracy theories about the Illuminati infested the internet. There was one particular clip that I came across then that still lives rent-free in my head. It is when Wendy Williams faints on live television, wearing a statue of liberty costume. People think she was a part of the Illuminati or something like that. I think the homegirl’s iron levels were just low. Regardless, it makes for a perfect Halloween Costume. You can make a statue of liberty hat with styrofoam and sparkly duct tape pretty easily. Find a green wig, and for clothes, any sparkly green shirt/skirt or dress will work perfectly with any shoes. Tape on a piece of paper on the front of your costume that says “Wendy Williams ft. Illuminati”. It is perfect, and will start great conversations at any Halloween party you go to. This costume takes a little bit of guts to pull off because not only does it mention Illuminati which is dangerous in itself, but it is also patriotic since you will be dressed up as the literal statue of liberty. With today’s political climate, I don’t know what will happen but Halloween is about taking risks. What is scarier than taking risks, huh?
Hopefully, some of these genius, absolutely remarkable, astonishing halloween costume ideas strike you as doable. I would love to see someone wearing my designs this halloweekend. Time to trick or treat!
Ps. This is satire (but these halloween costumes still slap).