If you, like many of us, have been confronted with a shamefully embarrassing situation in your love life, you are not alone. In fact, there is probably a Sex and the City episode for that. I started watching Sex and the City right about the time that I entered the dating scene in my early 20s. While the show might not offer particularly profound relationship wisdom, it is sure to remind you that you’re not alone and that the many women who have gone through your exact situation have, for all we know, survived.
Personally, I identify most with Carrie (duh, I write for a magazine!) but the stories of each of the women, Samantha, Miranda, and Charlotte offer plenty of relatable dating examples. This article will outline some common dating mishaps and recommend a relevant and hilarious SATC episode.
Ever had a breakup so bad that it sent you to therapy? Season 2, Ep 8
Carrie’s been there! Haven’t we all? When Carrie and Big break up the second (?) time, she begins to talk the ears off of her three closest friends. They try their best to be there for her as well as they can, but in the end, they encourage Carrie to seek professional help. Bravely, Carrie ventures forth on her therapy journey. However, she meets a mentally-ill hunk in the waiting room who derails her healing journey. If this happens to you, don’t treat the waiting room of your therapists’ office as an opportunity to meet other singles. Focus on yourself and let those mentally-ill hunks do the same.
Find a guy who seems too normal so you sabotage the relationship? Season 2, episode 3
Who can blame you? Normal guys are as rare as $2 bills. When Carrie meets the adorable writer, Ben, she automatically assumes that because he doesn’t have overt and obvious problems, that he must secretly be a freak. Yes, Carrie really does use the word “freak.” Rather than letting Ben gradually show his true colors, Carrie tries to skip the nonsense by rummaging through his apartment searching for clues of his weirdness. She comes up short, but he comes home early, and politely asks Carrie to leave. If someone seems too normal, maybe they’re hiding something. Or maybe, as unbelievable as it seems, they had a stable childhood with emotionally-available parents who love them, and you’re the one who needs to take a good hard look at why you feel you can’t trust anyone.
Found yourself dating a grieving widower? Season 2, episode 5
As unlikely as this sounds, this has actually been the reality of one of my close friends. The same was true for Charlotte, who finds herself dating and consoling a young widower named Ned. In Charlotte’s case, she breaks things off after she finds out that Ned has been using his wife’s death as a way to attract other sympathetic women to care for him in his time of need. I mean come on, who really needs more than one post-spousal death girlfriend?
Did your situationship introduce you to someone as his “friend”? Carrie’s been there Season 1, episode 12
Yikes. This happens to Carrie when she runs into Mr. Big and his mother. Rather than saying that Carrie was his girlfriend, he called her his “friend,” sending Carrie spiraling. As a general rule, do not date or sleep with men who do not want to shout to the heavens that they are with you. And god forbid you date someone who doesn’t want to introduce you to his family. You are a person worth dating and anyone who isn’t proud to be with you is not for you.
Did your semi-platonic male friend end up getting married to one of your not-even-that-close female friends? Season 2 Episode 7
When Miranda’s long-time friend Jeremy comes into town, she’s sure that the tinder of their friendly-turned-flirty banter will finally amount to sparks flying. But when the pair run into one of Miranda’s female friends, Jeremy falls head over heels for the other woman. So head over heels that they decided to get married immediately! Graciously, the couple allows Miranda to man the guest book at their wedding while they fall even deeper in love. Miranda should have kept the boundaries between friendship and romance more clear, so as to avoid this sort of disappointment. If you develop a crush on a friend, be sure to be clear about it to them or bury your feelings and try your best to move on. But don’t secretly audition your friend to be your boyfriend without their knowledge. They aren’t going to assume you’re interested unless you let them know.
Is the love of your life leaving you for Paris or some other foreign land without considering you in the plans whatsoever? Season 2, Episode 12
This one is sure to be a tear-jerker for anyone who has felt like they prioritize their partner more than their partner prioritizes them. Carrie and Big seem to be doing great… that is, until he drops a bomb on their relationship when he tells her that he’ll be moving to Paris for six months. She’s willing to make it work, she’ll fly to Paris or maybe she’ll move there for a while too! But Mr. Big doesn’t want that, he wants to go alone. In the end, it isn’t Big’s move to Paris that hurts her. It’s that Carrie didn’t feel like he considered her in his decision at all. Many women have been in similar positions. This can be especially tough when both people are dedicated to their career and have come to a crossroad about distance. It’s one thing when matters are out of your hands and jobs are scarce, but it’s another when you consistently urge and beg your partner to consider you in future plans but you’re dismissed in the name of “living in the moment.” You are worth considering. And anyone who won’t consider you in the future doesn’t deserve to have access to you now.
Perpetually disappointed by men coming in and out of your life like it’s a revolving door? Season 4, Episode 1
It’s time to lean on the people who’ve always been there for you – your friends. After many failed relationships and mounting frustration among the girls, they convene over coffee and have a heart-to-heart. The women are scared to be alone, to be single after all their many years dating. But they aren’t alone, they never have been. Your friends will always be there for you when the relationship doesn’t work out. Charlotte, ever the romantic, says “Maybe we could be each other’s soulmates.”
