Dear Tomatoes . . .
Even though I’ve known you since birth, I’m so sorry, but I hate you. I truly hate you.
I’m not one to usually slander someone, but I can’t help but send this to you. I just had to get out how I feel about you. And how I feel, well, I truly hate you Tomatoes.
I want to start off by talking about your texture. You are slimy, gross, full of weird seeds, and I honestly can’t stand you. When I take a bite of you, you just pop right in my mouth, filling it with the slimiest texture, and it makes me want to gag. I can’t even stand your outer skin. It’s weirdly smooth on the outside and it’s tangy as well. I’ve seen others suck on the skin and it makes me want to gag in disgust. I can’t stand your gross texture, and I’m sorry Tomatoes, but I hate you.
Your taste… I can’t even describe it. Is it sweet? Is it sour? Is it bitter? Is it tangy? I can’t even decide, but it doesn’t matter, it’s gross either way. There’s just something so unsettling about the way you taste and I hate it. The only way I could eat you is with a lot of salt, pepper, balsamic vinegar, and fresh mozzarella cheese. You are just not good plain, and I’m sorry, but nothing will change my mind. I hate you, Tomatoes.
I think the only other way I can stand you is in other forms. I love tomato soup, or salsa, or ketchup, but never you plain. Despite people saying just be yourself and people will like you, I’m sorry, but that doesn’t apply to you. You are simply bad by yourself, and you need things with you to make you perfect. I can’t even stand chunky salsa, but if you are blended up with salt and spices, then fine, I’ll accept you. But please Tomato, consider always going in a different form. I truly think people would like you better that way. That sounds mean, and I’m sorry, but I can’t help but speak my truth. I truly hate you, Tomatoes.
Don’t even get me started on the debate of your category. Are you a fruit or are you a veggie? The debate everyone goes back and forth on. You have seeds, so technically you are a fruit. But you aren’t sweet and you can’t be put in a fruit salad. I looked it up and you are a fruit considered a veggie. What does that even mean? It’s confusing, so just pick a side, Tomato. Does that mean that ketchup is a smoothie? You know what, I don’t even care. I hate you, Tomatoes.
I really want people to stop asking me why I hate you. I can’t help how I feel about you, and it hurts me when I see other people enjoying you, but I just can’t bring myself to like you. I’ve tried, I really have. My whole family seems to love you, but I just can’t. Maybe in the future, I will like you, someday. But right now, I hate you, Tomatoes.
This was mean, but I had to get it off my chest. I hope you can forgive me, but I’m so sorry Tomatoes. If you don’t respond, I will understand. But please forgive my hate, my absolute disgust that I have for you.
Thank you for hearing me out, Tomatoes. I hope you can take what I said, and maybe follow my advice for only being in different forms.
Sincerely not,
Alex Corbin