For our second edition of “Dear Wenger,” we find a lonely college student in need of food advice.
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Dear Wenger,
Do you think I should eat pizza rolls tomorrow?
Yours truly,
Molly Welsh
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Molly,
Ah, the age old moral dilemma. As Hamlet says, “To eat pizza rolls, or not to eat pizza rolls, that is the question.”
You have found yourself in a great Shakespearean tragedy. The pizza rolls, though you may think of as simply delicious, delicious bits of sauce, cheese, and dough, symbolize much more.
In your life you will face many problems. People trying to bring you down. Life throwing soup in your face. A crazy guy on Mass St. throwing soup in your face.
In the end all we really have is pizza rolls.
The gooey insides.
The precious little bites.
Savor them.
They are all we have as the world crumbles.
The question you ask yourself now is….what brand?
Sincerely,
Elizabeth Wenger
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A final note: If you would like to ask for advice in future columns, DM me on twitter @jewenger with your name or wish to remain anonymous. You can also find me on facebook under Elizabeth Jayne Wenger.
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Always here, always lost, always full of myself!