Forming New Friendships, Keeping Old Friends

As a freshman, this last summer has been a pretty emotional one. From seeing my friends in class everyday during high school, to hanging out multiple times a week in the summer, to relying on FaceTime sessions once college started, it’s quite the change. 

It’s especially difficult if your friend goes out of state and you can’t go see them every other weekend. How do you deal with making new friends at college while some of the people you hold so dearly to your heart are states away?

The first thing to do is realize that you can have two different friend groups without betraying/prioritizing one group over the other. The other thing is understanding that your friends want you to be happy, and they wouldn’t want you sitting around thinking of them and missing out on opportunities to make friends. 

Still, you might need ways to keep in touch with your friends without feeling like state borders and touchscreens are separating you. These are some activities my friends and I have been doing together while we also make new friends!

1. Eat meals together: Sharing a meal together has been one of the most common ways to bring people together. While you make new friends over meals, whether it be meeting people at a dining hall or waiting in line at a Starbucks, food is the best way to win someone over. Why not apply that mentality to your current friends? When it comes to getting around timezones, brunch is your best friend. It’s a great way to start your day and check in with your friends every once in a while.

2. Walks: Hopefully every time you need to walk somewhere, you’ll find someone you can talk to and walk with until you get to where you need to go. However, if you find yourself walking alone with no one around, FaceTiming your friends is a good way to feel comfortable and make it home safely. 

3. Homework: Reaching out to the person sitting next to you in class to ask a question, share/compare notes and talk about the class in general has so far been the easiest way for me to make friends. Once you exchange contact information, it’s really easy to have a study partner and go through assignments together. As for getting in touch with your old friends, if you were friends in high school, chances are that you were in some classes together, and you’ve probably studied together before. Having a study session with your friends and helping them with their own classes is another way to stay close to the people you care about. 

4. Games: Whether it be a fierce round of UNO or Pictionary, simple group games can keep the competitive spirit alive in a friendship and remind you how fun it is to be around your friends. Board games with the new friends you make or get-to-know-you games are great ways to bond. Online games would include skribbl.io, Spyfall, and Jackbox games, and the best part is you can play with anyone, not just one group of friends.

5. Making plans: Being friends with someone isn’t just helping each other with homework or walking home at night; there has to be effort from both sides. Putting yourself out there is a great way to show your new friends that you appreciate them. Setting aside a weekend where your old friends are all free is important too. Also, there’s no need to keep your friend groups separate. Put an effort into introducing your friends to different parts of your life. I’m sure my roommates probably don’t appreciate me forcing them to talk to my friends over the phone but the way I view it, the more the merrier! 

• back to school
• friends
• list