I’m a sucker for a stand out quote. I was that middle school girl who saved innumerable amounts of Pinterest quotes to her camera roll, most of which probably had ties to The Fault in Our Stars. While my taste in word play has evolved over the years, it’s become harder to find phrases that stand out to me. In a world of internet visuals and memes, the art of fun colloquialisms has disintegrated.
Several years ago I started a notes app titled “Words I Like.” It initially started as only single words that I read or heard that stood out to me because they emitted a unique tone. Some of the first words on the list are “smitten,” “peppered,” and “banal.” No underlying correlation, and no real purpose to need to write them down. Over time the list evolved to include unique phrases from anywhere and everywhere. I turn to this note when I’ve got writer’s block. Its random phrases usually spark up something to further write about. I’ve never known quite what to do with this compilation of phrases, but by putting some of them on here, I hope you get inspired, or maybe even a little chuckle.
“Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker”
From the 1971 film Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Sonically, the rhyme scheme plays smoothly on the ears. Thematically, it shows the shift from childhood innocence to demanding adulthood. To the 18 year old me who heard this, it was just fun!
“I went to school with girls that spelt their name lemon jello and pronounced their name Lemangelo”
My hometown best friend’s mother said this to me one day, I believe, when I told her about my new cousin named Hawk and how I thought it was such an odd name. She retorted this iconic line back to me, and I stood fully corrected that Hawk wasn’t too weird of a name after all.
“Do what you do best and swallow it”
Slut shaming is against my personal moral code and I’m never one for girl-on-girl fighting, but ooooh this is such a good last line of an argument. It can be a harsh comment, but keep it in your arsenal.
“Love is blind, but lust is helen keller”
This comes from comedian Taylor Tomlinson’s Netflix special Quarter-Life Crisis. I see this every day on college campuses as gorgeous girls ignore red flags just to get an ounce of gratification from any male specimen.
“He taught me why hurricanes are named after people”
I had to include a throwback John Green quote from his novel Looking for Alaska. I read it in sixth grade (which was way too young) and the emotional battering ram that was Alaska’s death on my prepubescent heart was uncalled for. I’ve come to learn that the origin for naming hurricanes comes from an Australian meteorologist naming tropical storms after politicians he didn’t agree with, which was followed by American meteorologists in the 1940s naming storms after their wives as tributes. Dear Future Husband, naming a hurricane after me will never count as an anniversary present, xoxo.
“A lady never tells, a gentleman never remembers”
I don’t have much commentary for this one, mainly because I think it perfectly articulates the characteristics of the sexes. Women, poised. Men, clueless.
“And they say it doesn’t snow in LA”
Drug deals are fine as long as they are coated in cheeky word play, right? Well anyway, I never see myself being offered cocaine at a nightclub in California, but just in case, I have the perfect response queued up.
“Tonsil tennis”
Of the thousands of slang terms used to communicate making out, this has gotta be in my bottom three. I gag just reading it. I think of two middle schoolers aggressively maneuvering their tongues through wired braces and copious amounts of saliva. You’re welcome for that mental picture. You can now be equally as scarred as me when you hear that wretched phrase.
“If you’re a woman who wants to live until the end of the story, you better be a virgin.”
This is from the YouTube channel VlogBrothers which is run by brothers Hank and John Green. I’m pretty sure the video was discussing Romantic era literature and it made me think of 1) society has progressed both so much and so little in terms of female sexual freedom 2) 1800 Brits would likely go into anaphylactic shock if they read Fifty Shades of Grey.