‘Tis the season to make hot chocolate, turn on The Polar Express and cuddle with your loved one. Ugh. In all seriousness, I’ve seen countless TikToks of couples dancing to Katy Perry or showing the moment they fell in love. It causes me to do the Summer Walker slide down a wall. Not really; however, for the people who are single, like me, it’s hard to find joy in the feeling of unwantedness. A new word that sums up my love life or … lack thereof. Fortunately, that is not what I aspire to talk about today. So as I sit here, listening to Olivia Rodrigo, I am here to remind you that self-love is the best love.
I find myself walking around campus often envious of people that I pass. I see hand holding or hear conversation about someone finding the love of their life while I’m eating an Oreo cheesecake at Mrs. E’s and I can’t help but to long for a feeling that is so foreign to me. I’ve never had a moment where I’ve felt wanted, but as I grow older the world has taught where true validation stems from. Any guesses as to what the answer is? If you said from one’s self, you’d be right, but it took me years to get to this point in my life. As an 18-year-old who is new to this adult thing, the love part is hard to come by. It’s easy to look at someone else and picture a life like theirs. It’s especially hard for those considered to be hopeless romantics. They suffer the most. As an avid book reader, I can definitely say I don’t think any of us will find the Hardin to their Tessa anytime soon. We can look at life and wish about what we had, but our branches of love that we extend to others cannot prosper and be genuine if the soil from where it grows is not nourished.
Self-love is defined as loving yourself the same way you love others. You love carefully, you are patient, you embrace every flaw, and most importantly, you love unconditionally. It’s hard to love yourself when you believe there is nothing to love about you. I had a friend once say to me that we never truly see ourselves acting out the things we admire to do. Our authentic self is yet to de discovered by us. Humans can never see the love they emit, and that specific act in itself is utterly beautiful. To truly find joy in ourselves, we have to accept that we aren’t perfect. It’s clichĂ© to say, but no one is. We have to embrace our differences with open arms and allow that feeling to rest comfortably. We as a culture are focused on what others want, what others perceive, what they say. I think that to totally understand is to realize the world is full of imperfections. To erase all of them would create a lack of uniqueness. We are different for a reason and to truly embody our purpose in this world, we have to discover that reason and live confidently with it. Once we are confident in our self and our abilities we can then start to reciprocate that energy to the world.
Humans fail to realize what our bodies do for us. The body that we pick apart and judge every day, is the same one keeping us alive. It keeps us breathing as we go to sleep, and it’s the same body that heals itself whenever we fall and scrap a knee. It’s the body that has grown simultaneously as we do. The strength our bodies possess is beautiful, everlasting, never failing. I find it hard to appreciate my body but I do simple steps to remind me of my beauty. Simple things such as creating affirmations or writing uplifting messages on your mirror is effective. This change in one’s mentality is not bound to happen overnight, but it’s bound to happen. To find love in yourself is the best love of all because it is abundant. Never ending, never changing, and the most true. After all, it is coming from the person who knows you the best and most certainly is always ready to love you.
As I close, forget the TikToks, the books, the movies. True love is within you. You are the main character. So live like it and embrace the real you. Imperfections and all. And yes, if you were wondering as you walk down the sidewalk to class if everyone looking at you is in love with you, they completely are.
You are beauty. You are grace. You are loved.