Cryptocurrency has been in the news for the past few years, but these past few months it seems that it’s been taken to a whole new level. For some reason, NFTs have been really REALLY popular among the ultra rich. Of course, it makes sense that celebrities are obsessed with some stupid thing that just shows off how rich they are, but NFTs are on a whole new wavelength.
An NFT is a non-fungible token. If you’ve ever looked up a definition of an NFT and ended up more confused than you were before, you’re not alone. A few months ago, I asked a bunch of people on social media what an NFT was, and all I got were 15 guys explaining it with words I have never even heard of. The simplest explanation of an NFT to ME would be if you were to “buy” a star (those cute birthday presents people get whenever they’re too lazy to find something of value) or “adopt” a zoo animal. Except instead of a cute present or being able to raise money for whatever conservation effort the zoo advertises, it actually just destroys the environment because NFTs require a weird computer that is awful in terms of energy conservation. Also, instead of getting updates on a cute turtle you will never meet, you get an ape.
Not only are really insufferable finance/crypto/alpha male Twitter bots obsessed with it, your beloved celebrities like it too. But it’s REALLY weird how much they like it. Promoting NFTs nonstop, making NFTs, being overly defensive over any criticism toward them, celebrities who rarely even tweet will tweet out their NFT, and some, like Liam Payne, are making accounts solely dedicated to cryptocurrency.
I’m not the only one who thinks this sudden obsession celebrities have with NFTs is super weird. People who have been environmentally conscious in the past randomly deciding to throw it away despite knowing the criticism they will get from their fans just doesn’t make sense to people. Celebrities who have very vocal fanbases on stan twitter, for example, Rico Nasty, Melanie Martinez, Charli XCX, are especially on the receiving end of the criticism. It’s odd that these celebrities (who have PR managers that normally manage any sort of scandal that could get them “cancelled”) just post NFTs knowing they will get “hate” (aka justified criticism). Right?
Think about what celebrities normally talk about on late night TV. Their careers, family, funny stories, behind-the-scenes anecdotes, etc. So imagine the surprise of the audience when Paris Hilton went on the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon and talked about none of those things. Instead, she explained what NFTs were and then proceeded to “gift” everyone in the audience an NFT. Absolutely no one seemed excited when she revealed hers, so that just shows you how out of touch these celebrities are.
Very Scientology-esque. I hate to make the comparison, because Scientology has a history of abusing the members that are not as high on the hierarchy, but there is a reason why Hollywood/celebrities seem to be the main people associated with Scientology. There is literally a branch of the Scientology Church that is purely for attracting celebrities. Not garnering publicity, attracting and recruiting celebrities. Scientology also manipulates its potential members into revealing every single dark secret about them (and in Hollywood, there are plenty of dark secrets to go around), which in turn lets them blackmail in case those members ever decide to leave (and not pay the Church).
What people don’t realize is that many celebrities who are strongly involved with the Church of Scientology are represented by the Creative Artists Agency, which is the main investor in OpenSea (who is responsible for the mass distribution of these NFTs). An agent who worked at Creative Artists Agency claimed that they represented Tom Cruise (aka the KING of scientology) back in 1997.The Creative Artists Agency is supposedly the largest media agency there is, but they do a lot of shady things, especially money related issues (also, they supposedly banned Courtney Love for exposing Harvey Weinstein’s history of sexual abuse). Which explains why they essentially turn a blind eye to the abuse in the Church of Scientology (and even enable the celebrities who are part of that system, rather than dropping them from the agency).
OpenSea is a relatively new aspect of the CAA, because it’s not directly related to Hollywood or any sports media network, so the NFTs have been the newest addition to the CAA. Since celebrities are not only represented by the CAA, the CAA has a lot (and I mean a LOT) of information on each of the celebrities they represent. The CAA isn’t the greatest when it comes to having any sort of morals so it really isn’t shocking that they would contribute to the environmental disaster that is cryptocurrency. The CAA also is really good at making their clients do essentially anything they want in order to get more money, so all these celebrities that are posting about NFTs? Probably represented or somewhat associated with the CAA (if they themselves aren’t represented, their record labels, managers, producing companies or even spouses are probably associated with them). If you’re associated with the CAA, you are associated with OpenSea. If you’re associated with OpenSea, you get to be the lucky person who promotes NFTs without really understanding anything about them.
Next time you see someone like Eric Andre getting weirdly defensive when people are confused over the fact that he’s selling NFTS, and you ask yourself if it feels culty, it’s because everything associated with these companies are cults. Or worse. I hate it here.