“You are valid.” “Your feelings are valid.” “Your opinions are valid.” Validity has become a large part of society’s vocabulary. In recent years, Generation Z has introduced a new wave of acceptance in our culture. No one disagrees that accepting and validating others is important; however, I argue that we’ve taken this mindset too far.Â
Let’s be completely and brutally honest here: not ALL feelings are valid. That sounds insensitive and maybe even cruel, but it’s true. Sometimes people react to situations in ways that are inappropriate and unwarranted.Â
Let me illustrate an example: You just come home from school and your sister is in your room. She’s angry because your mom said she can’t go out this weekend since she got caught sneaking out last weekend. She rants and whines to you about it, but you tell her that she can’t be upset because her consequence is fair. Now she’s angry and crying, saying you’re invalidating her feelings about being upset.Â
This is the problem with this “all feelings are valid” trend. When we tell everyone that everything they feel is reasonable, then all reactions are permissible. Everyone ends up walking on eggshells all the fricking time. I don’t know about you, but I can’t live like that—constantly worried about hurting people’s feelings even when those feelings don’t have any valid reason to be hurt. Aren’t we tired of feeling bad for things that we shouldn’t feel bad about?
Not to be harsh, but we’re encouraging a generation of, for lack of a better term, wimps. In validating everything, we’re encouraging a loss of essential life skills like taking constructive criticism and brushing off unkind words. Not everything needs to be taken to heart and not everything demands an emotional response nor does it deserve one.Â
I’m not asking for people to hide their feelings all the time; I think it’s great that people feel comfortable to express themselves. I am asking for this generation to think about if what they’re feeling is reasonable before expressing it. Don’t react poorly to a situation and then justify it by saying your feelings are valid. Let’s be emotionally intelligent and conscientious. We are girlbosses; let’s act like it.Â
