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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at KU chapter.

Hollywood is known for its portrayal of toxic relationships, and Gilmore Girls didn’t get the short end of that stick. During the show’s seven-season run, Rory has her share of toxic boyfriends. Dean just happens to be the worst one.

Dean Forester was the definition of the overbearing, toxic boyfriend. He was extremely jealous and aggressive, yet his character was always portrayed in a good light. I felt like the show pretty much summed up Dean’s inexcusable actions to boys will be boys.

Let’s look at some of Dean’s worst moments.

The fight at Rory’s Dance


At the start of Rory and Dean’s relationship, Rory invites Dean to her school dance at Chilton. They go together and all seems fine until Tristan, who had a crush on Rory, sees the couple together. Tristan and Dean have a little quarrel and then Tristan asks to take it outside (aka to fight). Dean refuses and then responds that “he would kill him.”

I feel like I don’t have to explain why this is problematic. This reaction is completely unnecessary and if I was with Dean, I would dump him in a second, no matter if they didn’t mean it. I’m no psychologist, but I feel like this reaction can hint toward some type of anger issue or emotion management problem.

WHEN RORY CAN’T SAY I LOVE YOU BACK

This scene was an extremely difficult one to watch. Let me set the scene: I believe it was Dean and Rory’s anniversary and Dean takes Rory to see his gift for her, which is a car he’s rebuilding for her. I feel like this gift was strange and later could be used to guilt Rory into staying with him, but that is another point. At this point, Dean confesses his love for Rory, and Rory freezes.

While I know it’s not easy to get rejected, he takes his reaction too far and downright disrespects Rory. Rory tries explaining herself, but he refuses to listen.

DEAN WAS SEXIST

The whole point of Rory’s character was that she was a strong independent woman who excelled academically and wanted a successful career. Dean, on the other hand, wanted none of that. In one episode he explains that he thinks a woman should cook for their man, which leads to an argument (of course).

Rory in response dresses like a 1950s housewife and cooks a meal for Dean, which is completely against what she believes to make Dean happy.

JESS IS AT RORY’S WITHOUT DEan’s knowledge

Rory one night decides to have a study night because it was one of the rare occasions where she gets the house to herself. In Gilmore Girls fashion, everything goes south. Paris unexpectedly comes over and Jess shows up with food. They end up having a good time together until Dean shows up uninvited. He gets mad at Rory and demands to know why Jess is there. To avoid Dean’s wrath, she lies even though she did nothing wrong.

When I was rewatching the episode during winter break this scene made me cry. Even though it’s just a show, seeing someone so scared of their partner even when they did nothing wrong hurts my heart, especially with Rory being so young.

The Affair

Most of the events I’ve mentioned were from when Rory and Dean dated in high school, but later in life, they rekindled their romance and had an affair when Dean was married to Lindsay. Rory was partially at fault in this situation because she was a home wrecker, but I think Dean still takes advantage of Rory. Also, this is the scene where Rory loses her virginity, and that doesn’t sit right with me

These scenes are problematic when you consider how young some of these girls watching Gilmore Girls are. I remember being 13 and watching the show, wishing I could have a boyfriend like Dean. I thought all his red flags, like his problem with jealousy, were just the way he showed his love to Rory. Looking back now I am appalled by his character and wish I could tell my younger self to stay away from men like that.

Hanna Brown is the writing director at the Her Campus at KU (University of Kansas) chapter. She oversees the writing team and acts as the publisher, ensuring all articles meet the Her Campus standards of quality and reverence. In addition to her duties as the publisher, Hanna leads weekly writer meetings and builds a safe environment where writers feel empowered to be creative. Beyond Her Campus, Hanna is the marketing/communication assistant for the Engineering Career Center at KU. Last summer, Hanna interned for Burns & McDonnell as a marketing writer/editor. There, she gained experience writing technical blogs centered around engineering, copy for digital marketing and new releases. She also interned for Southern Star Central Gas Pipeline in corporate communications. A senior at KU, Hanna is pursuing a BSJ in digital marketing communications, advertising and public relations with a minor in history. In her free time, Hanna loves to visit local coffee shops and explore her college town. She is obsessed with the Sims 4 and wants to start a podcast. Her motivation in life is to do everything in love. After college, Hanna hopes to move to the city and start a career in public relations, branding, digital marketing or copy/content writing.