For those of you who don’t already know this, walking up to guys (especially cute ones) can be incredibly nerve-wracking! This week, I dove head first out of my comfort zone, by walking up to ten random guys on campus, and asking for their opinions on kissing. So, for those of you who are (like me) not into making the first move when initiating conversation or anything else with guys, I have done you a small favor. Here’s a little peak into the minds of college guys when it comes to kissing…
What makes a kiss good or bad in your opinion?
“I think it’s the intimacy when you engage with that person. It varies, some people like using tongue, other people don’t like using tongue, I am one that does kind of prefer tongue involved in the kissing.” – JAHI, 22, SINGLE
“I feel like a good kiss has to be something that’s not just like stale. Like you at least have some little bit of passion in it. And like actually move your lips, like if your lips are just like still, it’s terrible, like you gotta give some push back on it” – LUCAS, 23, SINGLE
“Just make sure it’s like a good spice that they never wanna forget… Kissing is more like cooking, you got to miss the spice in order for people to like your food, so that’s the analogy that I use for it.” – DINO, 20, SINGLE
“I know what makes a kiss bad, if it’s like too sloppy or too stiff. It has to be the right in between, you know, where both of you guys find the medium.” – SHAMAR, 19, IN A RELATIONSHIP
Generally, guys are into however you go about kissing if you’re both feeling it. Just remember, too much slobber, teeth, and chapped lips are never good! But keep your head up, close your eyes, and get smooching, you’ve got this!
Do you think someone can learn to be a good kisser?
“It’s like a skill, you can learn anything!” – LUCAS, 23, SINGLE
“Practice makes perfect, but I definitely think there’s a little bit of an innate skill to it.” – TOM, 21, SINGLE
“There’s kinda like a finesse about it that not everybody has, but I feel like some people can learn it, but some people can’t.” – WAYNE, 20, SINGLE
“Yea, definitely. Because no one is born a great kisser, it’s about who you’re kissing. It like in the regular, intangible stuff that you do, but anyone can be a good kisser.” – SHAMAR, 19, IN A RELATIONSHIP
“Yea, I just think it takes practice. Like, practice, practice, practice. Not saying like you gotta kiss a whole bunch of people, but like you know whoever you’re talking to, or whoever you’re in a relationship with, you can practice kissing. That’s the basis of everything, so, that’s what it is.” – RICHARD, 19, “UNDECIDED”
Yay! For anyone who has felt doubtful about their kissing abilities, now you have affirmation, it can get better! Just keep on trying, and all will be good!
How do you know when to lean in for a kiss?
“I mean, there’s not really a time for it, it just happens. There isn’t really a time [pointing at watch] for it. Just like, you right next to your partner, and you’re feeling something, then you just go ahead for something.” – DINO, 20, SINGLE
“You don’t, you just go for it.” – VINCE, 20, SINGLE
“I would say body language, if she like keeps staring into your eyes, or she puts her hand on your thigh, or something like that.” – GRANT, 21, SINGLE
“I think you just know, it’s like a vibe, it’s a feeling, you know when to go into it. Like she’ll give you signals, or you give them signals as to what you want. It’s just a vibe.” – SHAMAR, 19, IN A RELATIONSHIP
“I mainly look at the eyes. So, if my eyes, look at her lips, and like, she smiles, and then if she looks at my lips, then I know like, okay, she wants to kiss.” – RICHARD, 19, “UNDECIDED”
Girls! The boys are relying on us for knowing when to lean in, so if you’re wanting a kiss, maybe glance at his lips and smile! ?
Do you like to make the first move? Or do you prefer for the girl to take initiative?
“I feel almost like a meet in the middle, like, if I lean in, I’m not going all the way in. But like, at least go in, and if they’re coming back, then yea…just read into it.” – LUCAS, 23, SINGLE
“I think it’s pretty hot if the girl makes the first move [other 3 responded “yea” in unison]. I mean, it’s definitely like ‘wow, that’s cool’, but you know, usually I’ll step in.” – WAYNE, 20, SINGLE
“I mostly make the first move, but the couple of times that the girl has taken initiative, it felt like real sexy to me. I don’t mind making the first move, but if you do, then I’ll reciprocate.” – SHAMAR, 19
“Like it’s not anything less, there’s not anything degrading about not making the first move, you shouldn’t be embarrassed. It has to come natural, I don’t think it should be forced, that’s the big thing.” – RICHARD, 20, “UNDECIDED”
Many guys like to take the lead, so sit back and relax! But if you’re feeling extra ballsy, take the initiative and lay one on him! As long as he’s into you, he’ll be sure to reciprocate.
Do you consider kissing “hooking up”?
“I always thought that’s what it meant.” – GRANT, 21, SINGLE
“I didn’t think that’s what it meant. [what did you think it meant?] You know, plowing!” – TOM, 21, SINGLE
I was surprised to see that about half of the guys thought that the term “hooking up” meant only kissing. Others consider hooking up to be anything past kissing. What do you girls think?
How do you feel about getting or giving hickies?
“Freshman year, it’s tolerable. I think Sophomore year, it’s childish. It’s a bad look for your professors, it’s probably a bad look in public, and you can sometimes give off the wrong indication to other females (if you are single) that if you have a hickie on your neck, you look like a ‘fuckboi’.” – JAHI, 22, SINGLE
“Like, at home, I’m not about it, cause I don’t feel like wearing a fucking turtleneck and having my mom be like ‘umm…it’s summer’ But here (at school), yea, I don’t care.” – TOM, 21, SINGLE
“You gotta know how to kiss someone where it feels good with passion, but you don’t have to leave a mark on their neck. There’s ways to do it, like you can easily get around it.” – SHAMAR, 19, IN A RELATIONSHIP
Most guys were not about the hickies… well, other than Tom, Tom is down for hickies.
What goes through your head while your kissing someone?
“I am mostly thinking about the person that I am kissing. I feel like it is just me and the partner, just alone, versus the world. So, like, I got her back, she got my back, so that’s how I feel.” – DINO, 20, SINGLE
“The part that comes after were kissing…like…sex. That’s what I’m thinking. That’s the whole point of hooking up, right?” – VINCE, 20, SINGLE
“If it’s bad, I’m like ‘hmmm..this is bad’. And if it’s good then I’m like ‘Alrighhhhttt…I see where this is gonna go!!” – TOM, 21, SINGLE
“Seriously, sometimes I think about leg day. One time I really thought about working out, it was bad.” – WAYNE, 20, SINGLE
“If I feel like the kiss is right, I’ll see like okay, maybe do I bite her lip, or do I put my arms around her.” – SHAMAR, 19, IN A RELATIONSHIP
So, with this question, some boys answered very thoughtfully, which was pleasantly surprising. A few guys said they hadn’t even thought about what they think while they’re kissing, so they told me they think about “nothing”. Others are thinking about…leg day? My conclusion is that the male brain is a mystery!
Do you consider yourself to be a good kisser?
“Well, yea, I have to. If not, then where am I at in life?” – LUCAS, 23, SINGLE
“I’m just good at what I do.” – WAYNE, 20, SINGLE
“I’m like the top tier kisser out there.” – SHAMAR, 19, IN A RELATIONSHIP
I mean, there’s only one way to find out, that’s all I’m gonna say.” – RICHARD, 19, “UNDECIDED”
Many of the guys considered themselves to be good kissers, are we surprised though? And there were even a few guys who offered to “prove it”.
Interviewing these guys was such a fun time and I 100% recommend it! It’s so cool to hear guys opinions on topics such as these, where most of the time, we wouldn’t know what is going through a guy’s head. To be completely honest, when I had my first interview and began asking guys these questions, I nearly peed my pants I was so nervous. However, as I interviewed the next guy, and then another, it got much easier and I felt my confidence growing. Overall, it was an exciting, kind of crazy experience, that I really enjoyed. I hope you like my findings!