This semester, I have started to work at the gym desk here at Lafayette. Prior to my position, I was not a frequent visitor, but now I can say I spend a decent amount of time surrounded by others who are far more athletically inclined than myself. My job is fantastic for people-watching. This has allowed me to compile a semi-cohesive list to paint a picture of the daily crowd you will see each time you walk into Kirby gym:
The Squad
This group arrives together, works out together, and then will be purchasing post-workout smoothies together. It is unclear how much ‘working out’ actually goes on, but the gang will always have a good time. You can catch them chatting by the water fountain, or taking up a lot of space lounging on the floor mats.
The Fitness Minor
The fitness minor signs up for Body Pump and group fit classes more than anyone else in their grade. Cardio may as well be their middle name and Spinning may as well be their fifth course. If you spot them walking into the gym, they are likely sporting their signature (personal) towel and some form of wireless headphones.
The Rookie
Aka: me when I go to the gym. The Rookie means the absolute best and simply wants to avoid looking like a complete idiot as they exercise surrounded by collegiate athletes. The best way to identify a rookie is by looking at their shoes. Where the fitness minor would tend to be rocking fresh Nikes, compression socks and all, the Rookie may be found in Air Force Ones, Vans, or even Stan Smiths. Remember that one time you walked into the gym and saw a guy rowing on the crew machine wearing jean shorts? He was probably a Rookie.
The Overachiever
This person is sometimes referred to as the ‘grunter.’ They know all that there is to know about three or four workouts/machines. However, if you ask them about anything regarding cardio, they will be completely in the dark. The overachiever can usually be found lifting weights which are far heavier than what they can manage, or admiring their own physique in the full-length mirrors.
The Procrastilifter
At any given time, this person will be found not working out. Whether they are adjusting their equipment or referring to the workout video on their phone, the last thing you will see is them breaking a sweat. They may spend over an hour inside the gym, but the Procrastilifter spends much of this time taking selfies of their pre-workout routine.
Next time you are running on the treadmill, look around and see if you can identify any of the personalities from these descriptions. Trust me, you will.