Having social anxiety can be hindering. I can find myself doubting if I have a successful social life. However, even with my anxiety, I’ve been able to keep a vibrant social life. If you have social anxiety as well, I can assure you that you’re not alone! There are so many people who have the same struggles, and those people can absolutely still have the connections that people desire. Here are the ways that I’ve made friends through the years.
Online communities
I joke that roughly 70% of my social life is online, which is something I’m not ashamed to say. I’m in several fandoms/communities on Instagram and Twitter. I’ve made good friends in each group, and I’ve even met a few in person. Some of my best friends have come from social media. It may be hard to believe because these are relationships primarily built from texting one another.
If you have social anxiety, online communities are game changing. If I never joined these communities, I would feel a lot more lonely. Even though the people in them are from all over, the camaraderie and connection is still very much present. Talking to people about shared passions makes me able to relate with them that much more.
Clubs – and sometimes classes
Pre-college, I met most of my in-person friends from school. I’ve always been to small schools, and everyone knew each other. It felt like a community. That made it easier to find people to connect with, since there weren’t a ton of options. My social anxiety was still there, but I was able to become comfortable and able to socialize with classmates. Lasell is the biggest school I’ve been to, even if it feels small still because I see similar faces around campus each day.
I’ve recently had to remind myself that I have more of a social life in college than I think. I can sometimes complain about how I only socialize with one to two people outside of classes. However, that doesn’t mean I haven’t felt camaraderie with people from the clubs I’m a part of. They have given me more of a social life in college. I’m in four clubs on campus: of course HerCampus, the radio station, the TV station, and the creative writing club. After each event or club meeting, I feel more comfortable with the people in the clubs, which could lead into one-on-one chats with different members. It hasn’t led to socializing outside of clubs (yet), but I’m working on that!
In addition, I’ve found that in every class, there’s at least one person that I feel closer with at the end of the semester. Either I’ve sat by them every class, or we’ve engaged in small talk before class. As the semester goes, the comfortability grows. However, the semester being over means I’d have to maintain that comfortability, which is something I’m still working on. I’m better with texting than talking in-person, so if I meet you in a class, don’t be surprised if I randomly find your Instagram and follow you. (Whoops!)
Bumble BFF
Most recently, I’ve made a couple friends so far from the app Bumble BFF. I highly recommend it if you either moved to a new place and are looking for new friends, or are socially anxious and find it easier to text first before meeting up in-person, like I am.
Bumble BFF is an app from Bumble, specifically designed to help people find friendships locally. I’ve never tried a dating app before, but I knew I wanted to try the friendship version. I wanted to get some practice for when I feel ready to get a dating app in a couple years potentially, but that wasn’t my main goal. I also wanted more local friendships without having to go into the “wild” and initiate conversation with people – someone with social anxiety’s worst nightmare.
I can say that I’ve made two friends from the app so far, and I’m hoping to further other connections/”matches”. When you match on Bumble BFF, you can ask for their social media to be able to talk elsewhere. From there, you can make plans to meet up. No stress, all fun!
As someone with social anxiety, I know it might seem daunting to put yourself out there. However, I’ve had opportunities to create meaningful connections – both online and in-person. If you feel lonely, there are quite a few ways to make friends that will work for you. It’s worked well for me!