How I’ve Been Managing My Grief

Content Warning: This article mentions death, grief, and the loss of a parent. Please proceed with caution. 

Grief is a tough and colossal topic to even think about, let alone talk or write about. It’s a hard emotion to experience. But, I feel like I’m ready now to talk more about my grief through the medium I know best – writing. I lost my dad in August after a painful and difficult battle with illness. We did not see this coming, and it hit my family like a shock straight to the heart. I’m still processing the loss and probably will for quite some time. In the past few months, I have realized that there were a couple of things that helped me in the aftermath and still do today. 

First, the love and support of my family and friends has been an immense comfort. Whether it was a hug from my grandparents or a high school friend stopping by with a care package, I had a large community supporting me. Even though they were in different states, my roommates and college friends were with me the entire time. They provided me with love and compassion, and I cannot fully express how much it means to me. 

Second, I used distractions when needed. If I was too overwhelmed, I would put my headphones on and zone out on the couch doing an activity I enjoyed. I must have watched half of Season Four of RuPaul’s Drag Race: All Stars while crocheting or playing a game on my phone. I was able to perform a small act of self-care by giving myself a chance to rest. I’ve continued this practice of taking time for myself in college through ways like ordering my favorite meal for dinner or taking a break from schoolwork to play a video game. 

Lastly, I carry memories and keepsakes of my dad with me. I brought one of his shirts and some framed photos he kept in his office with me to school this year. Since he was a firefighter, he had a room at the firehouse for when he worked overnight shifts. His boss was able to get me the quilt my mom made him years ago out of his old t-shirts. I keep it on my bed at home, and it still smells like him. Nothing about this loss has been easy, but these little ways I’ve found have made my grief more bearable.

• family loss
• grief
• grief management
• loss
• self care