Rules are the restrictions based on the game we play. In our love lives it’s the rules that can’t hold everything together or keep us from experiencing the things we really long for. For decades women have been put in their place regarding their sex lives. They’ve been told what is acceptable, what is not, what is proper for our position and what is improper. We have finally reached an age when we decide the ground rules for our own lives. Yet with this power we have created the tendency to judge others on the way they rule their own life.
We throw around names and assumptions and disregard others true intentions, but expect others to be neutral about the choices we make. Women who prefer waiting for the physical get the label of prude or tease, while women who don’t are called sluts and whores. Of course there’s the in-between, but for the sake of this argument let’s focus on the two ends of the spectrum.
There is a quote floating around Instagram that can perfectly sum up how we should see these women on either side. “Nudity empowers some. Modesty empowers some. Different things empower different women and it is not your place to tell her which one it is.” But before we can accept the fact that different things empower different women we have to change the way we think.
We have to stop seeing a woman with a group of men and assume which one she is sleeping with. Who says she’s sleeping with any of them? Maybe they’re friends from forever. Maybe she’s a lesbian. Maybe it’s no one’s business because her gender has nothing to do with the relationship she has with those people.
We also have to stop basing our opinions on each other based off of hems lines and cleavage. We call out men for doing the same thing, for the catcalls and the slut-shaming, then at the end of the day we whisper behind hands about how the chick in the shirtdress must have forgotten the rest of her outfit.
Women everywhere get bent out of shape because people (aka men) make assumptions about us based on appearance and the state of our sex life. What it comes down to is that we as women are part of the problem. We demand to be held in high regard independently, but don’t do the same thing for each other.
This needs to stop and it needs to stop with us. People don’t do what other people say, people take cues from what other people do. So let’s start doing the right thing. Let’s become more aware of our language and our assumptions.
Equality comes with a price. It’s time to pay up.
Happy Hunting.