I was talking to a friend of mine recently and she told me, ”Isn’t it weird how most teenagers and young adults relate to tik-toks and videos about our upbringing that should be concerning.” I thought about what she said, and I agreed with her. Many times we don’t realize how our upbringings have affected our mental health.
Some of our parents and guardians have played a role in damaging our mental health. The way situations were handled, the comments we received directly or indirectly all affected us in one way or another. I will give an example of something my cousin experienced. Her parents were not happy with her weight and would often make side remarks trying to tell her to reduce her eating, ironically when she lost weight, they would then make comments inciting she was too skinny and needs to eat. This goes a long way in making us self-conscious about our bodies and how much or how little we should eat. When they should be uplifting us, they are bringing us down.
Another instance is how little they care about our mental health or the fact that they do not take it seriously. We could be feeling sad or depressed, but it is reciprocated to being ungrateful. This makes us afraid of opening up to our parents because they don’t offer solutions. Instead, they bring us down more. Most people I know refrain from telling their parents what is going on in their lives when they are sad or happy compared to those who do. They would much rather talk to their friends as they are more understanding. Something like, “I have an issue, or I’m sad” is turned into, “you’re unappreciative, you have a roof over your head, school fees, food,”… Suggesting that us feeling down, depressed or sad is wrong on our part because some people have it worse. This makes us less likely to bring up any issue we are going through makes us feel lonely, misunderstood and alone.
“What will others think?” This statement does so much damage, and yet they use it in every situation that troubles them. If you were suspended or got a poor report card, bad grades sometimes even coming out. These instances affect us too but are reciprocated. Our feelings are pushed aside, and the more critical thing being them and their reputation becomes first in a situation that does not directly involve them. This makes us fear doing or saying anything that might disappoint our parents and guardians even though It is perfectly normal to slip and fail. We want to be perfect for their sake even though we are hurting in silence on the inside.
As teenagers and young adults; we are new to many things, we are unsure of what the world has for us. We spend most of our lives sheltered from outside, and all of a sudden we are experiencing a million things at once. It is usual for us to feel scared, alone, misunderstood, and even discover ourselves better and what we love and are passionate about. As we go through all this, we would love to have a shoulder to lean on or a listening ear, welcoming arms and accepting hearts.