It’s Saturday night and your phone buzzes with a text from your squad that you’re going out tonight. First thing that pops into your head is what the hell am I going to wear?
I’m sure you ladies have experienced something very similar to this scenario in your time at Le Moyne College. So, sit back and relax because here are 8.5 struggles every girl knows to be true when getting ready for a night out.
1. Trying to decide what to wear
Are you and your girls going for classy? Sassy? Slutty? All black every thanggg? Or trying to convince yourself that no one will remember the outfit you wore out last weekend and just go with that. (People probably won’t remember but just to be safe…) Oh, and because we go to school in Syracuse it’s best to be prepared for the weather. Layers are your friend. Am I right ladies?
2. How to get there
Do you opt for a taxi, the bus, or a generous designated driver? While your options of transportation are limited and questionably safe, your goal is to get to your destination so you can get “turnt.” (I guess that’s what the cool kids are calling it). So, if you need to make friends with someone on the bus that smells like moth balls or hold on for dear life while you slide around in the back of a taxi the choice is yours.
3. Trying to get IN to where you are going
The bouncers range in age from pubescent to looking like they lived during the Stone Age. Some bouncers are friendly and do a quick once over of your ID and other’s study it like they have never seen an ID before. Now, I know this is for a good reason, but come on its Mully’s AND when you actually are 21, it’s offensive. Yes, sir my mother gave birth to me twenty-one years ago.
4. Making your way to the bar
Okay, you finally get into the bar and your mascara is kind of smudged and your perfect Victoria Secret blow out is looking a little droopy, but you told yourself tonight is going to be a good night. Now, you’re ready to get yourself one of those fruity girly drinks or an ice cold beer (normally lukewarm). The only problem is there is about fifty people between you and the bartender. While risking life and limb you dodge the guy you made out with last semester and the girl that only pretends to be your friend when she’s drunk.
5. The line for the bathroom
Now that you’ve had a Sex on the Beach or a Heineken, you have no choice but to break the seal. So, you make your way to the dreaded bar bathroom line. Being in a bar bathroom line is like fighting for the last cup of water in the Sahara Desert. Except it usually smells unpleasant and there’s a trail of toilet paper that some drunk girl has dropped on the floor and has the inability to pick up. Your motivation to wait in the line is the thought of relieving yourself and getting back to where all the action is. About ten minutes later (it felt like thirty) you are in a stall while your friend holds the door for you. Life is good and now you can go order another drink.
6. Collaborating with the crew where to head next
Okay, so now that you’ve had a few drinks and used the bathroom it’s time to figure out where to head to next. Let’s be honest, you can only stay in Mully’s for so long without running into the same people. Your options range from Benjamin’s, where you can dance but have to watch forty year old women getting their groove on, or Penny’s, where you can get a $10 fish bowl and play Jenga. The problem is you can’t find all of your girls- one’s making out with the guy down the hall, one’s in the bathroom, and another’s at the bar trying to get ANOTHER drink that she does NOT need.
7. Finding your way home
It’s almost 2 AM, your feet hurt from the leopard printed heels you borrowed from your roommate (she swore they made you look hot), and you don’t know how you possibly blew through 60 bucks (you’ll find out tomorrow when you get a lecture from your parents over Skype). You are ready to head back home, take your heels off, and lay on your perfectly plush twin-sized bed (extra-long). If you’re lucky it’s not raining and you find a cab.
8. Trying to get everyone into bed
So, you finally made it back and you’re starving. You decide to order pizza and then get into your cozy bed. This, of course, is after you have herded all of your friends (like cats) into their dorm rooms. Whether they make it into bed or sleep on the floor, it doesn’t matter as long as you came back with the same number of people you left with.
8.5 The hangover
It’s 10 AM and you attempt to open your eyes. The lights are bright and you’re just like I NEED WATER. You stumble out of bed and make yourself a cup of coffee and take a good look at yourself in the mirror. You look like Taylor Swift in the music video Blank Space- except less glamorous and nothing like Taylor Swift. Over coffee you are your roommate have a revelation that you will never consume that much alcohol again
…Until next weekend rolls around…
(All gifs courtesy of Giphy.com)