The Morning After: How-to Deal?
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Are you a participant of a one-night stand? A Victim even? Then maybe you should take a look at this.
The morning after is filled with unanswered questions: What do I do? Do I talk about it with him/her? Maybe I should just pretend it never happenedâŠ? We may not answer all your questions but weâll definitely give you some suggestions to help you through.
Letâs admit it. The biggest goal we want is to âkeep the coolâ; to pretend like nothing happened at all. We donât want any interactions to be awkward or uncomfortable. But letâs face it; if itâs someone we see on a day-to-day basis things may get a little weird. Obviously, you have some exceptions where both partners may not need to talk about it and everything goes on as normalâbut this is for those out there who may have uneasy feelings and donât know what to do about them. I suggest building up the courage and going in for the kill. Someone I interviewed said âIf I knew or saw the person everyday Iâd probably say something to them about it. Maybe like âHey so⊠what was that?ââ The best way to ease an uneasy situation is to let it out in the air.
But what if thatâs not like you at all? What if youâre not the kind of person who has one-night stands or someone who talks about their feelings? Another interviewee said âI would probably pretend it never happened unless the other person brought it up.â Personally, I think thatâs totally okay. To each his own. Everyone goes about certain situations differently. If youâre someone who can be okay with what youâve done and have this not affect your everyday living (and really be okay, not just say you are) then do your thing. Why bring up something that doesnât need to be brought up.
However, you may want to think about how the other person feels too. If you have all these questions, they might have some too. Especially if itâs someone you know. A one night stand can end up ruining a good relationship if someone doesnât take the first step.
So what if itâs someone you will probably never see again? Then no worries right? College students can have the reputation of being promiscuous. Often, like in the movies, weâre portrayed as going to a party off-campus and having a fling with a complete stranger. Not everyone will fall into this college stereotype but if you happened to weasel your way in, itâs totally okay. Someone answered âIâd pretend it didnât happen. Iâd be sorta ashamed of myself.â You should never be ashamed of what you did and if you are, you should talk to someone. Maybe a trusted friend or a school counselor. Just think about it this way you never have to deal with the awkwardness of seeing that person. But the uncomfortable conversation may have to happen because sometimes we cannot suppress the feelings we have about ourselvesâthatâs why letting it out is the way to go. As humans we make mistakes and if you arenât okay with the choice that youâve made then you should definitely seek some guidance.
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Moral of the story: Find the courage and talk about itâif necessary. If both you and your partner can pretend it never happened and youâre okay to move on, then move on. If you need to talk about it because youâre ashamed, then go for it. Donât be afraid to talk about how you feel; if your friend is really your friend they wonât judge you and neither should you. We shouldnât go out looking for a one-night partner because of hygiene and all that good stuffâbut one-night stands happen, weâre college students for crying out loud!