Well hello! Welcome to this week’s brand new agony aunt blog. We’re Fran&Chan and we’re excited to be part of HC Leeds brand new agony aunt team, hoping to give you advice on all your love related problems. This means you can now email HC Leeds with any problems or questions you might have, which we will keep completely anonymous.
So, before we jump straight into answering your first questions, we’ll quickly introduce ourselves…
I’m Fran; I’m perhaps a typical Sagittarius when it comes to giving advice: very honest and straightforward, a great listener, and always optimistic, which I certainly am in my own love life. I enjoy living my life between Leeds and Blackpool, and love to spend most of my time with my family and friends. The rest of the time you can find me eating anything and everything (I love food far too much), or swinging round the pole, indulging in my passion for pole dancing, which I do purely for fun and fitness! Anything else I should mention? Hmmm… my nickname is big bum, now you know everything there is to know about me!
I’m Chan; I’m an outgoing country bumpkin born and bred in Lincolnshire, adjusting to Leeds’ city life. I had been very unlucky in love up until three years ago when I met my boyfriend. I love spending my spare time with my nearest and dearest- especially my sister! I strongly believe that shopping is a sport, so should be taken very seriously and if I could be any animal I would definitely choose to be a butterfly as I am very sociable
I’ve just started university and left my boyfriend back in my hometown. We have been together for 8 months and so far things between us have been great, but since I left he’s finding it really hard. Is university going to be the make or break of our relationship?
When we started university, we both left our boyfriends back in our hometowns too and we had the same problem. We were warned by second years that Black November would get us too (the month at university that apparently ends all relationships), however, this doesn’t have to be the case. The key to balancing a successful long distance relationship with your own hectic university life is making time for each other. Even if it’s just the odd text throughout the day or a catch up phone call before bed, this will let him know you’re still thinking of him despite how much fun he thinks you may be having. Another important thing is patience. It will take time for you both to adjust to your new lifestyles, and remember that it may be even harder for him, as you’re the one building a new exciting life for yourself whilst he is still stuck at home with the same old routine, just without you. A final thing you need is trust. If you want to make it work whilst you’re so far apart from one another, then you need a relationship built on a solid foundation: TRUST.
I think I fancy my flatmate. She has no clue, neither does anyone else, and I’m so confused as I’ve never fancied another girl before and never thought I was a lesbian.
Moving to university is a big step, and moving away from home is a confusing time in everyone’s life. These feelings you’re experiencing may not necessarily mean what you initially think they mean. Before you start to think about reacting upon these feelings, maybe you should take some time to settle into your new environment and first figure your own feelings out before making any rash decisions. You never know, it could simply be your feelings of loneliness causing these emotions to surface and since you say you’ve never experienced these feelings for another girl before, you could soon settle in and find you no longer feel this way about your flatmate. If you don’t find these feelings go away, then you should definitely talk to someone, maybe not your flatmate that you’re experiencing these feelings for, but a close friend who has always been there for you. There’s no shame in feeling this way, and you should be confident and accepted no matter what sexuality you are.
I’ve just started my first year at uni and I’m a virgin, but all my new uni friends just assumed I’d slept with guys before and I didn’t have the guts to tell them the truth. I don’t really want to just lose it to anyone, but I just feel like I’m definitely going to be pressured into it this year. Should I just get it over with?
First of all, you should never feel pressured into anything, especially sex, as it’s not something that should be rushed. When you do choose to have sex, it is a personal choice and no two people’s choices will ever be the same, so there’s no point comparing your sex life to anyone else. Furthermore, if your friends are true friends, then they should accept you for who you are, and your sexual history shouldn’t matter. Rather than feeling embarrassed or shy, you should be proud and confident that you’re waiting for the right person before you lose your virginity. You never know, you may find your friends have felt the need to lie about their sexual history too – we believe honesty is always the best policy.
Hope we have managed to help! Don’t be afraid to get in touch with any more problems you have, email hcleedsarticles@gmail.com and we will keep it completely anonymous! In the meantime, have a happy halloween!