Hey! So we hope you’ve all been working hard like we have this week in order to get those deadlines out the way before the holidays! We hope you’re as excited as us for Christmas – we’ve already got the decorations out in our house! In the meantime, don’t forget to keep sending in all your problems to HC Leeds, remember we will keep them completely anonymous!
I’ve only just found out that my boyfriends ex is at the same uni as him. To make things worse, they’re both first years and staying in the same halls. I trust my boyfriend completely, but should I be worried about the fact he didn’t tell me.
You say you trust him completely, which is great. Having boyfriends ourselves, we can understand why you would feel disheartened that he didn’t tell you. However, from his perspective he may have simply not thought it important to tell you. This is a classic example of how boys do not think in the same way as girls. Just remember this girl is an ex for a reason, but make sure you talk to your boyfriend and let him know that you would have preferred him to tell you, whilst reassuring him that you do trust him and this wasn’t the issue here.
Last week I walked in on my flatmate having sex! It was so embarrassing and we haven’t really spoken since! We were becoming really good friends before this happened, I just don’t want this awkwardness to ruin it!
If you were already becoming good friends then you shouldn’t let something as silly as this ruin things! You’ve just got to remember sex is natural and everyone does it so there’s no need to make it in to such a big deal. Since this is probably more embarrassing for them, why don’t you make the first move and start a conversation in which you briefly mention the incident and just simply make it into a joke! It’s much better to laugh together about it, rather than to both be embarrassed and for them to be worrying about you laughing at them behind their back. You should soon be able to move on from this and just remember that when you’re living together in such close proximities, things like this are bound to happen!
I’m finding second year at uni so much harder than first year; there’s just so many deadlines and a constant work flow that just seems to be never-ending. I’m finding it so hard to fit in time for my boyfriend amongst all this. I love him to pieces but I just feel like I can’t give him the time that he needs and he deserves better than that.
Being second years ourselves, we completely understand where you’re coming from. We find it really hard to juggle our uni work, our friends and our boyfriends. However, if you still love each other then this shouldn’t have to be a problem. He should be patient and caring enough to understand the pressure you’re under, even though it’s at the expense of spending less time than you’d like together. If you’re both committed to this relationship then you just have to remember that a degree doesn’t last a life time. Or if you prefer to think more about the present, then you’ve almost already made it through one of the longest terms and it will soon be the Christmas break, which should hopefully give you lots of time together to make up for the last couple of months. For now, you should prioritise your work over this problem and you should not feel bad about it. As long as you remind your boyfriend how much you do love him and try to devote just a short part of your day to text, ring or skype him, then this shouldn’t have to split you both up. Being at uni doesn’t mean you have to be single.
…We are all of us stars, and we deserve to twinkle…
Image Sources:
1. http://inspirationaldaily.wordpress.com/2012/02/14/always-love-you/
2. Author’s own.