Be That Friend
I keep seeing posts, whether it’s on Twitter, or Instagram, or Facebook, regarding “friendship goals”. An image of someone sneakily taking a ~candid~ picture of their friend, followed by the caption “I need friends like this”. Or, something like a screenshot of a selfie with a whole list of comments underneath, all compliments from someone they know – “wish my friends did this!” There are all sorts of nice little gestures both online and offline that we sometimes wish our friends would do for us – because it’s nice to feel special sometimes. And that’s okay!
However, I can’t help but wonder… rather than publicly or privately wishing that you had friends like this, friends that took cute candids of you, hinting at them to do nice things like this for you… why not BE that friend yourself? Why not BE the friend that takes the cute candids? BE the friend that leaves nice comments.
- Leave endless nice comments on your friends’ selfies.
- Let them know when they’re looking great.
- Take cute candids of your friends when they are off guard and looking cute.
- Big them up when they’re feeling good.
- Support them when they are feeling low.
- Treat them to a coffee, or to lunch somewhere.
- Check in sometimes to make sure they are doing okay… life’s hard, you know?
- Share their work online (whether it be art, writing, or just a good selfie!)
Sometimes, I think we get so wrapped up in online culture and waiting for notifications on social media and texts in our inbox… that we forget that a lot of other people are concerning themselves with the same kinda things. I’m not saying you have to be some kind of friendship martyr, completely devoted to and over-the-top obsessed by your friend and their life. I’m just encouraging a little bit of give and take.
It’s pretty likely that the more you do nice things for your friends, the more they will think to do for you. Putting positive energy out into the world and starting a chain of thoughtful productivity is bound to have some advantageous return eventually. Not that you should do these things purely in hopes of a reciprocal act – but it becomes pretty likely.
I like the idea of women supporting other women and helping each other to feel great and to succeed in life. In a world that can feel so dark and full of hatred, sometimes a strong friendship group around you is the brightest light you will have. So, building that bond where you care about making each other feel happy and positive is really important in both the short-term and the long-run. Certainly don’t let the cyber-world become a priority over the real world, and don’t take it too seriously… but since it’s in our lives and it looks like it’s here to stay, why not use it to make your closest ones feel fantastic? Enjoy the little things because one day we will look back and realise that they were the big things.
Photos from Her Campus stock