It seems to be becoming more and more common these days to have a no-strings attached relationship. With films such as ‘Friends with Benefits’ starring Mila Kunis and the gorgeous Justin Timberlake (or Justin Trousersnake as some of us would love to dream about) and ‘No Strings Attached’ with Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman showing that having sex with a friend without having an emotional attachment can work in some ways, but not in others (I’m trying really hard not to ruin the plot of the films if you haven’t seen them). But being at University, where there are plenty of young, good looking guys around is it possible that it could actually work? And should a girl who decides to have a no strings attached relationship with a guy get the stigma of being a so-called ‘slut’?
We are now living in a society where having sex is no longer frowned upon, but is mostly seen as something that people can enjoy. Girls, let’s be honest, sometimes you do need a guy to fulfil those needs that certain toys just can’t quite carry out. This is where a friend with benefits is ideal! You don’t have the stresses that are often associated with being in a relationship, and with a heavy work load, you don’t need to worry about spending quality time together. And let’s be honest again, sex is fun!
I know a few people who have tried the whole friends with benefits thing. One girl I know ended up dating the guy she was sleeping with for nearly a year and they were happy together. Another girl I know tried the no strings attached but it didn’t work out because it turned out that they both wanted different things in the end. But this got me thinking, if you set out clear ground rules from the beginning, and you both know exactly where you stand should being friends with benefits be such a shameful thing? If it is working for both of them, and no one is getting hurt, then why should they be judged on what they are doing?
Setting out clear ground rules is one of the big things when it comes to having a sex only relationship. Being honest with each other at all times means that you will reduce the risk of getting hurt or hurting the other person. Don’t just say something because you think that it is exactly what they want to hear. It’s not healthy for either of you. One of the big issues with a no strings attached relationship is that neither one of you have to be faithful (unless you decide otherwise). From talking to other people, this is the biggest problem. If one of you is sleeping around with other people and the other is not, you have to be completely honest. Not just because it could hurt the feelings of the other person, but purely for the safety aspects that come along with having sex with lots of people at the same time. You should be wearing protection anyway, but we all know accidents do happen, so make sure you both get regularly checked.
Having tried the no strings attached relationship myself, and no I’m not ashamed to admit it, one of the things I struggled with was keeping all emotions out of it. Sex always brings out emotions in people, even if they don’t want to admit it. While it lasted it was fun, and it worked when other people weren’t getting involved. Knowing that there was always someone that I could go back to, who did treat me well was a great confidence boost. But I also know that if you end up in this sort of relationship with the wrong person, it can end up damaging your self-esteem and self confidence. I know people who have been in these relationships and every time they’ve come home, they’ve just felt used. You have to be a very good judge of character to make sure that you are entering into this relationship with the right person, as well as doing it for the right reasons.
In my opinion, no strings attached relationships or ‘friends with benefits’ don’t work. Yes I know what I said earlier, but there are so many chances of you getting hurt. While at the time it will seem as though you are enjoying yourself and it is working for you both, as soon as one of you develops feelings, everything gets complicated. Also why should you settle for second best? I hold the traditional belief that every girl deserves to be treated like a princess and find that knight in shining armour who will sweep her off her feet. If you honestly feel as though you can get into a sex based relationship without getting emotionally attached, then go and have fun! We are only young and we have the rest of our lives to get involved in serious, monogamous relationships. Enjoy it while it lasts and if it develops into something more then that’s even better. Just make sure that if you do, then always be honest with each other and yourself. And I would advise watching the two films earlier mentioned. Not only are they brilliant, but will help give you a clear indication of whether friends with benefits can work.
Image sources:
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