We hope you all had a lovely Valentine’s Day, whether you were single or in a relationship, you should have used the day as an excuse to celebrate with your nearest and dearest. We certainly did! As usual, we have found the time to answer some of your questions, of course keeping them completely anonymous. Enjoy the next couple of weeks and keep sending in your problems!
I’m in my first year of Uni and I’ve never had a boyfriend. There’s no one I particularly like at the moment but my parents have made it clear that they don’t want me to get a boyfriend while I’m at Uni. They think it’s impossible to concentrate on Uni work if in a relationship, but most of my friends and flatmates are all in relationships and they’re all doing fine, I just don’t know how to show my parents this is possible.
You say you don’t like anyone right now, so you really shouldn’t worry too much about this problem at the moment. However, when the time comes where you do need to cross this bridge, you should be honest with your parents and also remind them that you are a responsible adult and you can make your own choices. You need to reassure them that you can continue to do well at university, and balance both work and a relationship. If your flatmates can handle this, then there’s no reason why you shouldn’t be able handle it just as easily. But, until this time comes, then make sure you concentrate on your studies in the meantime and don’t spend too much time worrying about this for now.
I know all boys love football, but my new boyfriend seems to be even more obsessed with it than most. I’m understanding and I don’t stop him watching it, but we’re already finding it hard enough to find the time to see each other when I’m at Uni far away from him, and this is now only made harder by him saying he can’t come to see me most weekends because there are football matches on that he just HAS to watch. Do I need to be more understanding or does he need to start putting me before football?
Firstly, you are right: most boys do tend to have a love for football that most girls will never understand. However, we’re afraid this is just something you have to accept; after all you should have known this about him in the first place. If you put things into perspective, the chances are you will realise he most likely already does put you first, the way it should be. Instead of seeing his love for football as a negative thing, try to embrace it and be happy he still has his own life and his own hobbies. Try to show some interest, rather than resentment, and make sure you both make time for each other on days when his teams aren’t playing football.
I’ve recently started a ‘friends with benefits’ relationship with one of my close friends. We’ve both recently come out of long-term relationships and know we don’t want real relationships again, we both just simply want some fun. We currently live near each other, but next year we are living together in a group house of 6 people. How long can this carry on?
So you’re in the good old ‘friends with benefits’ situation. Firstly, we must warn you that although this at first seems easy, it is hard to keep sex – especially when it is not a one off but regular – detached from any emotions, which could complicate this situation and risk your close friendship that you talk of. Regarding living arrangements next year, it is a long way off yet, so you shouldn’t assume you will still be in this simple sex-based agreement; the chances are you could have met someone else by then, or they could, as both your attitudes towards having a relationship could change over time. You need to ask yourself whether it is worth it in the long run. You may believe you’re happy now, but will you be happy with the potential awkwardness of living together but having other partners, or are you happy to risk your friendship in the long term? You need to be confident enough to walk away from the situation when the time comes.
…Always tell someone how you feel, because opportunities are lost in the blink of an eye, but regret can last for a lifetime…
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