Hi again! Hope you’re all okay and no one’s starting to stress too much over those Easter deadlines. Keep positive by looking forward to all those Easter eggs you’ll get to eat as a reward for your hard work. Despite our deadlines, we’ve still managed to find some time to answer your questions, so keep sending them in. Good luck with all your uni work in the meantime!
Although I’ve had my fair share of relationships in the past, I’m single at the moment. Lately, I’ve found myself becoming quite addicted to watching porn on my Mac, yet I’m finding it difficult to become sexually attracted or interested in anyone in the real world at the moment. Is it wrong that I’m only satisfying my sexual needs through my online porn addiction?
Firstly, you shouldn’t over think things, as it’s perfectly normal for people to be happy being single and not to always want a physical or intimate relationship. However, you may find that this changes if you try to detach yourself from your sexual activities online. We’re sure you’re not alone in this case, as many other people also tend to satisfy their sexual desires online. Nevertheless, you should make sure you do not become dependent on online porn as this isn’t healthy. Furthermore, you must remember that online porn does not reflect a realistic view of sex, so make sure to leave these unrealistic expectations at the bedroom door when you next encounter a physical relationship.
I’ve had 5 girlfriends in the last 3 months. Unfortunately, every single one of them has left me, but I’m not quite sure what I’m doing wrong. I know one girl had a real problem when I suggested we eat at McDonalds when I took her out for tea, and another always seemed to argue with me because we had to get the bus places as I can’t afford a car. A lot of the problems always seemed to involve money, but I don’t currently have a job so I don’t have much money, so I really don’t know what I can do.
Experiencing five break ups within three months must be a great deal of heartbreak and it’s not something you easily get over, so maybe wait a while longer before you become involved with anyone else again. As girls, we know how demanding we can sometimes be and how important it is for us to feel like we are being treated like princesses. However, at the same time, if a girl cares about you, she should understand the extent to which you can afford to treat her like a princess. If you do feel like you’re struggling with money then perhaps you could try to get a part-time job if you can find the time to balance one with your workload at uni. But if not, find ways to treat a girl that don’t involve much money, like simply putting in the effort of cooking tea for her, or letting her decide what DVD you will both watch (even if it is a chick flick), or treat her to a nice back massage or foot rub after she’s been on her feet all day. But just remember, as long as you are treating her right, then money should not be an issue for a girl who truly cares about you and she should want to be with you regardless of how much money you have.
I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years, but we argue time and time again over the same issue – he hates it when I go out drinking. I have a busy social life and enjoy going out with my friends most weekends. However, recently I have been choosing not to go out with my friends just to avoid the arguments that it causes. We have now even started to purposely make each other jealous when we go out drinking on separate occasions. I am sick of arguing, but the annoying thing is that despite this problem, we are great together!
For starters, it sounds like you need to tackle the big issue of jealousy that plagues many other relationships too. In some cases, a little bit of jealousy can be healthy as it is nice to know your partner cares, but at the same time it is important to control your green eyed envy so that it does not get out of control. If you are now starting to doubt going out with your friends just to avoid arguments then you need to confront your boyfriend about this. He needs to understand how you are feeling and the predicament that he is putting you in. Once you discuss the root cause of the jealousy, you can both try and begin to control it; that way in future you will be able to go out with your friends and not have to suffer the aftermath it causes!
…You can close your eyes from the things you don’t want to see, but you can never close your heart from the things you don’t want to feel…
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