While we’re all saddled by the crippling fear that we will never see a life that isn’t in the negative figures, going home for the Christmas holidays seemed like an ideal situation. I assumed that I’d be able to sponge off my parents, not only in terms of money but also for food. Opening the fridge and not seeing food that resembles decomposing organs, eating food other than beans on toast and ultimately, sampling the delights that is home cooked food. It could be suggested that I over-hyped how good home life was going to be and what I forgot, was how much I actually like living the stereotypical student lifestyle.
Food
Family dinners – sounds great. In reality, when you’re the only vegetarian in the house, family dinners can create a sense of hostility – especially when you’re dad ‘forgets’ you haven’t eaten meat for four years and sneakily hides bits of chicken amongst your rice. The same tension rises when every meal consists of onions. I don’t like onions. After I’ve picked out the billionth onion from my bolognaise (veggie friendly), I’m all prepared to go back to my healthy and consistent diet of packet noodles and soup. Also, the inevitable “you’re looking too skinny” is the topic of dinner conversation, which leads to the ‘fattening you up’ stage. I will be potentially returning to Leeds with a new found fear of scales, and may be covering up all mirrors.
Sex
I will never recommend sex under the parental roof, especially if, like me, you do not possess a lock on your bedroom door and you own a particularly squeaky bed. Also, when you next see your parents after your latest conquest, I am pretty sure they will not appreciate you requesting LAD points because he’s hot. If he isn’t suffering from the same circumstances of the dreaded bat-like hearing of his parents, then lucky you. But if you’re a screamer, I’m afraid you might have to wait til you’re back in the safety of your Uni accommodation.
Sleep
When your student house encourages a nocturnal/insomniac lifestyle, it can be difficult to adjust to the 10pm bedtime your parents are obeying. Your casual 2am raid of the kitchen cupboards may not go down well, and when your sleep deprived mind assumes the mentality of Gordon Ramsey and you start testing your cooking skills, it may be time to get back to Uni. Aside from not being able to sleep at night, my parents are failing to understand the idea in which I like to sleep until early afternoon, and have since installed many annoying tactics that are so loud, they would wake the dead. The slamming of objects against my bedroom door, pouring water on my face, hoovering my room, tickling my feet, jumping on me and turning on the radio full volume are only a few techniques used while I’m sleeping. Suddenly, moving back to Uni where I don’t see life forms until late evening seems perfect.
Aside from our lives revolving around the important topics of food, sex and sleep, it has also come to my attention that since my parents have been left to deal with their own company, they have gone off the charts insane. 5 mile walks in the pouring rain? I’ll get my coat. 6am trip to ASDA? I’ll bring my shopping list. Playing board games all day? I’m scrabble master. I love my parents, and I’ve loved being home … but I’m excited to go back to a nocturnal lifestyle with a healthy cereal diet.
Image sources:
http://memeblender.com/2012/04/15/first-world-problems-cant-sleep/
http://www.downtownbellevue.com/2012/01/25/sunday-family-dinners-john-howie-steak/