How to Avoid the Classic Christmas Cringe

We all love Christmas, but there are those awkward moments, which seem to occur annually, that can sometimes put a bit of a downer on an otherwise magical time of year. However, by learning to overcome these slight setbacks effectively, we can ensure that there is no break in the Christmas cheer, and that the joyfulness continues, without pause, throughout the Christmas period.

Enjoying Brussel Sprouts

Conventionally, it is not seen as particularly ‘cool’ to indulge in brussel sprouts at Christmas dinner. Of all the glorious foods in the Christmas meal, it is guaranteed that, if you declare your love of sprouts to the family, you will be subject to some very strange looks. To avoid being shamed by your love of this vegetable, respond to these looks with a guilt-inducing statement such as ‘I’m trying to get healthier’, or if you are feeling a little more bold, keep piling up the sprouts whilst maintaining fierce eye contact with everyone in the room, daring them to question your motives. Comfort yourself with the idea that, although society may see you as being odd, you are setting a good example for your younger relatives. Even though they are taught that sprouts are universally repulsive, seeing you tucking into a pile of them may cause a “monkey see, monkey do” reaction, resulting in them eating more healthily, too.

Opening Something You Hate (In front of the person who got it for you)

This is probably one of the most awkward moments of all during Christmas. Whether receiving a curtain rail from a slightly barmy grandad, or a hideous skirt from a clueless friend, your reaction to any Christmas gift (even that of genuine delight) will be regarded as false. Therefore, acting on the pretence that you absolutely adore your horrid present is probably as transparent as the used fish bowl that your aunt proudly presented to you (even though you have no fish). Although often dreadfully embarrassing and self-destructive, there are ways to deal with these situations without offending anyone or seeming ungrateful. Avoid the cliché, “well, it is the thought that counts,” because if there was little or no thought put into the gift and you hate it, this phrase is not very consoling. Aim to express your thanks without exaggerating; over-enthusiastically exclaiming that you will use your new garlic peeler every day without fail will come across as an obvious lie, and your family will see right through it.

Getting Inadvertently Smashed

Whether at your work Christmas party, or on Christmas day with your granny, getting drunk at Christmas is never going to end well. If you realise too late that you have had a few too many, there is not much that can be done besides attempting to get everyone else just as smashed, so that you are not the only one who wakes up on Boxing day having lost a substantial amount of your former dignity. If you are already drunk to the point of no return, make sure that you avoid the karaoke machine (even if it means telling your more sober friend to hold you back by force), do not flirt with any co-workers, and never ever make a speech. If you wobble onto centre-stage in front of your family or friends, though you may think that you are being extremely profound, your supposed sincerity will undoubtedly be tarnished by your swaying posture, slurred speech, and the fact that you only have one shoe on.

Opening an Inappropriate Gift in Front of an Inappropriate Person

It might be exciting to keep all of your presents until the 25th December, and open them with your family on Christmas morning, but this may be a decision you come to sorely regret. Mixing the gifts from your friends, boyfriend, distant relatives, and close family together in order to open them in front of your parents and siblings is the biggest mistake one can make on Christmas day. Your dad does not want to see the collection of merchandise from Ann Summers that your boyfriend has triumphantly bought for you, and your innocent siblings most certainly do not want to know about the jokey Karma Sutra book from your best friend. Ensure that you keep your presents from different groups of people separate, and open them separately too, because nothing is more awkward than accidentally exposing your rampant sex life amongst your previously contentedly oblivious family members.

Although the events above are undoubtedly tragic, if you are unlucky enough to have them happen to you, the main advice one can take is to simply laugh it off. At the risk of sounding cliché, Christmas is a time of relaxation, indulgence, and an abundance of merriment. So, whilst you may think that something you have said or done is catastrophically ’cringe worthy’, the chances are that by the New Year everyone will have forgotten anyway (or, if they followed your example at the work Christmas party, they may not have remembered in the first place).

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