“Where are you from?”
Victoria: One thing every third culture kid can relate to is answering the rather loaded question ‘Where are you from?’ This is tricky for me as my parents are British, my Dad is from Liverpool and my Mum is from Sussex. I was born in London, and from the way I look, it seems like that would be my answer. And it often is the answer I give, in the interest of saving time and not sounding incredibly pretentious. However, although I was born in England, I spent over 12 years of my life living abroad, moving about every 3 years. When I was 4 my family moved to Paris for my dad’s job, not knowing that this would change our lives forever and be the beginning of our great adventure. When I was 7 or 8, we moved from Paris to Vienna and lived there for about 4 and a half years. You probably know Austria for skiing, schnitzel and strudel (also the name of my first dog!). We lived here for almost 5 years; the longest I’ve ever lived anywhere. We then moved to Dubai in the UAE where I spent my teen years from 12 to 15. After our time in the Middle East, we moved back to the UK, back to our house in London where I finished my last 3 years of school. As you can imagine, this was a culture shock, and by no means felt like the homecoming it was hailed as, by our UK friends and family. Despite my somewhat nomadic childhood, I feel so incredibly lucky to call a number of places home.
Bella: Whilst my passport says that I am British, white, born in London – the formalities of my citizenship hide the international family and influences that have shaped my life. My mother was born and raised in the Bahamas and my father, the son of a diplomat, was raised all over the world – born in Dubai, then moved to Washington, Paris, Jeddah and many other embassies around the world. My grandmother was raised in Africa, Kenya and Tanzania specifically, and alongside my grandfather has called New York, London, and briefly Iraq, home. Amongst my uncles, aunts and cousins, the list of countries is far longer. South Africa holds a central part in my life too, forming the basis of my upbringing and a place that my family will always consider our second home.
What’s your biggest takeaway from your international experience?
Victoria: A large part of living as an expat is that your friends become your family. You develop very close relationships very quickly. Different schools I attended had different turnover rates as the other students there were often, like me, moving constantly. For example, my school in Vienna was highly connected to the UN base there and so many of my friends stayed there for the majority of their childhood, long after I had moved. Whereas at my school in Dubai, there was a very quick turnover rate; I had a new group of friends each year I was there. Being a third culture kid, you get very good at goodbyes; saying goodbye to both places and people. I’ve had so many people, important people, move in and out of my life. And I have learned that time is not an accurate measure of how much impact people or places can have.
The expat network of international families is vastly spread across the globe yet can often feel small. Despite constant change, there are still ‘invisible strings’ that flow through the close-knit community. For example, after 3 years of attending my school in London, aged 18, my friend and I realized we had been at the same school in the same class in Paris when we were 7 – how this never came up I honestly don’t know! But the connections crossing paths and coincidences in this community are unbelievable and can often act as a close comfort when faced with change.
Maintaining friendships is very tricky, not only because of the distance but because of the often short but impactful time we spend together. People who were my everything at one point in life can be an entire world away only a year later. Although they can take time and dedication to maintain, long-distance friendships (especially between third-culture kids) are unlike any other. I have friends across the world who, upon reuniting even after years, it can feel like no time has passed. This is incredibly special and shows that despite time and distance and sometimes lacking communication, the love and friendship shared remain.
Bella: I couldn’t be luckier to be the child of two third-culture kids. My parents have always encouraged us to travel and have never hesitated to take us to far-flung places to try and impart the same international influence that they experienced at our age. Spending most of our holidays and any possible opportunity around Cape Town, experiencing and familiarising a country so different in every way to the UK, has imparted many of the realities of inequality and global injustice in a way that a textbook, or snippet on the news, never could. Living a few kilometres from the largest township in the country, in a nation with the third highest crime rate in the world, forces you to examine the basic aspects of life in the UK, and to truly appreciate them for what they are. Running water, electricity, being able to walk down the street as a young woman – these aren’t necessarily guarantees in daily life in Cape Town, and it forces me to reexamine the basic privileges of my life in the UK, and to appreciate them in far greater measure.
Going forward, how has it shaped your future?
Victoria: My experience living abroad has without a doubt shaped me into the person I am today. Despite struggling to name a physical place home, I know that my home is the people and community I am a part of. The international network of friends I have built over the years brings me comfort knowing that almost wherever there is someone I know. The constant change growing up has made me confident, adaptable, curious, and internationally minded. The places I’ve seen and people I’ve met have taught me more than I could ever learn in a classroom. My outlook on the world is unique to my experience. Travelling, inciting change, and making my impact on the world around me are now my strongest passions. As a Human Geography student, I enjoy learning about what’s happening now, why it’s important and thinking about how we can change it. In the future I see myself working and living abroad, travelling as much as possible, finding comfort in change. Despite sometimes feeling most at home in an airport and having my accent drastically change depending on who I’m speaking to, my Third Culture Kid experience is something I will always be grateful for and would never wish to change.
Bella: From my experiences in South Africa and travelling around the world, the impact of global poverty and its significance has very much shaped me, and as a result has led to my involvement with the Borgen Project, a non-for-profit organisation that raises awareness and lobbies politicians to pursue legislation and policies that support the effort to reduce global poverty. At the moment, I am working alongside MPs to appeal to Parliament to increase the UK’s Official Development Assistance Budget from 0.5% to 0.7% of GNI, funding that would go towards reducing inequalities around the world. My family has connected me to so many countries, many of which face massive socio-economic and political issues, and it compels me to constantly examine my position and the ability I have to influence and contribute to positive change. It’s a perspective that I could not hold without my family, and one that I am deeply grateful for
Written By: Victoria Norman and Bella Greenstock
Edited By: Jessica Dixon