At first, I thought it would be another Tinder date, just a casual one-night stand. Well, what else can happen when he’s in your room at midnight. Nothing was singing “you’re going to be together!”. We’re so different, he’s shy and calm and I was pretending to be cold, which apparently made him feel uncomfortable. I just need time with new people, well, new boys. I don’t trust any of them, especially Tinder boys. Some of them are so pretentious, so arrogant. But he was different… well he was nice to me and genuinely wanted to have a conversation and not just stay for a night and go.
I still don’t have a rational explanation as to why I decided to open up to my first ever boyfriend and be in a relationship. I just felt like it was the right thing for us. We were spending almost every day and night together and it seemed none of us wanted to keep it casual or be each other’s “tinder girl/boy”. But I made the first move, I was that awkward person asking if he wanted to date me. To be fair, as I have never been in a real relationship, I didn’t really know what I was doing. He literally helped me to say what I wanted to say, and of course, he laughed at my poor attempt. I then asked him if you’re supposed to ask, we both didn’t know the answer, but it felt so right.
When I say opening up, I mean being real with the person and not being afraid to say what you think. He knows about my dreams, my vulnerable moments, he’s seen me at my worst (I almost vomited after half a pint) and probably my best (stealing a pint glass from his hometown pub). We’ve been together for two months now and it’s probably the longest I have ever been with one boy. I have never been a fan of committed, monogamous relationships but I am truly enjoying it now. And it is the happiest I have felt in a long time. This past year has been difficult for all of us. Most of us have felt lonely and caged in our rooms with the only dating option being swiping right or left on apps.
So, I think I am growing up and becoming an adult with a boyfriend. Who would have thought that a girl who has a body count list (I know) would become a person who says “my boyfriend”, “my boyfriend and I”, “we”… I know that’s a big step for me. I don’t know what’s in store for the future, but I don’t want to plan my relationship, I just want to enjoy it now.
Words by: Madinakhon Latipova
Edited by: Dasha Pitts-Yushchenko