You glance at your mirror for the dozen-th time. Lipstick: check. Hair: tousled and ready to go. Red clingy dress: definitely shows cleavage but doesn’t scream climb into bed with me. Now that you’re immaculate and ready to go, it’s time to brief yourself on reality. Whilst there are tons of ways to impress your first date, it is equally easy for you to burn that bridge and force your date to pull a runner. And it only takes four ways…
1. Guzzling the Strawberry Daiquiris.
Naturally, you want the conversation to run smoothly. Slurring on your words and giggling like a school girl can make you look like the oldest kid in the playground. Oh yes, the temptation is obviously delicious, yet too much booze is the devil’s trap. One minute you’re tossing your hair seductively and laughing at all the right jokes, then suddenly you’re caught in a soggy emotional rant about how bitchy your housemate is. Whilst you’re at it, a piece of carrot uncontrollably flies out of your mouth and hits your date’s eye spot on.
By the end of the night, you’re blowing your nose into Kleenex tissues whilst sending him a tenth text message apology. For future reference: stick with two daiquiris to keep your nerves at bay.
2. Being emotionally slutty
Don’t burden him with your life problems by embarking on sentimental monologues. You might as well stick a straw up his nose and hope he doesn’t storm out of the restaurant. You want him doubling over and peeling with laughter, not biting his lip awkwardly as he fumbles for words of comfort. It is safe to say that, whilst getting to know each other, playing it coy is your best option. By keeping certain information from him, you not only appear more interesting, but you give yourself a mystique element. Without a cloud of doubt, he will be scratching his chin, intrigued.
So remember, avoid any poisonous words such as ‘I want a serious relationship’ or ‘I’d ideally like four children’. Not only will he think you’re out to get an Angeline Jolie type of family brood, but he will think you’ve gone off your rockers. It’s as though you’ve reached down and pulled out your ovaries, placed them on the table, and then asked him about his day. So stomach those emotional personality tics, and wait until after you’ve wooed him to let them burst out like a dam.
3. Fake-reaching for your wallet when the bill comes
Even worse, pretending to not know the bill is being ordered by conveniently excusing yourself to go to the loo can make you look like a gold-digger. Equally, batting your eyelashes and meekly asking, “Are you sure you’ve got it?” whilst knowing you in fact have no notes in your purse is off-behavior. Being honest right from the start is important for building a relationship. Going into dates with a full attention of paying your share is certainly considerate. Whilst there is nothing wrong with him whipping out his wallet and paying in a gentlemany-gesture, it is not always fair to expect them to.
News flash: We’re not in the 19th century anymore where women were defenseless lambs, dependent on men for everything. What if your first date doesn’t end up as planned and he ditches you unexpectedly? A nasty reality slap could mean you are on your own, battling your way home with zero money for the cab. So fold a few tenners in your clutch for extra measure. But secretly hope he will offer to pay. After all, who doesn’t like a good old gentleman?
4. Checking your phone for the millionth time
There’s nothing worse than paying little attention to your date. All that’s left is for you to yawn to show him your friend’s Facebook status is more interesting than his humble presence. The golden dilemma, what do you say to him? ‘Can we hit pause on getting to know each other so I can like my friend’s Facebook photo?” Or how about “I just need to call my sister, give me a few seconds, then maybe I’ll prioritise our date?” For sure, your guy will be itching to snatch your blackberry away and toss it into his pint of coke. Word of advice: silence your phone and follow up on your mobile phone mania after your date. Perhaps then you will be rewarded with a text from him later on.
Now that the nasties are out of the way, sit back, take a sip of your first glass of daiquiri, purse your lips sexily, and enjoy your first date. Thank me later for his call to confirm a second date.
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