Think of What Else You Can Buy with $500 You Saved
Money is a valuable thing, it pays the rent, college tuition, and absurdly expensive tickets to Instagram the Musical (aka Coachella). However, if money is the reason you decided to skip out on the festival remember how much you’re saving! In my in-depth research on this topic, I googled “What can you buy with five hundred dollars?” I’m sure my audience of 18-24-year-olds would love to for example… Start an IRA, or buy life insurance! It seems bleak but when you’re eighty and dying alone you won’t regret it!
Sleep in Your Comfortable Bed and Remember You’re Not in the Desert
Camping is hard, do you remember those trips with your family where you guys went to the desert then proceeded to all pass out from heat stroke? Yeah, neither do I. I think I repressed those memories. While all of your friends are in the unforgiving grip of Mother Nature you can sleep in your comfortable bed. Sure you won’t be seeing Beyoncé, but Beyoncé doesn’t sleep on the desert floor either so you already have something in common with her!
Watch Everyone’s Snap Stories Longingly
Social Media is a beautiful thing, it keeps us all connected in this big world. It’s even better for FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) as you click through your friends, acquaintances, and enemies stories you’ll see The Weeknd, Cardi B, and Post Malone. When you look up you’ll just see your cat staring at you judgingly for not leaving bed all day. Unhealthy coping? Maybe. Realistically what we’re all going to do? Yeah…
Make Your Own Music Festival
If you can’t beat them join them. Set up your own lineup that will get people driving thousands of miles to your house for the most legendary event of the year. Maybe your mom can do a poetry reading with your cat meowing backup. Or get that one friend who always plays Wonderwall on his guitar to do a set. The owners of Coachella will shake at the amount of talent you can collect!
Block Everyone
Sick of seeing Indio and everyone in it? Just block everyone. It’s simple… The button is right there, just press it. Are you going to do it? Really? I didn’t think you had it in you! Wow! You’ve surpassed jealousy eyeing your friends and desperately trying to seem cool without a Ferris Wheel behind you. Congratulations!