How to Get Over an Ex

“Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.” William Congreve knew even back in 1697 that women were not to be toyed with, as if only a doll on the shelf. I wish it on none of my worst enemies to be scorned in this season. Just as the flu makes anyone feel down and out, heartbreak can plague not only your mind but one’s body. 

Thanks to my ex, for the inspiration to write at 1 a.m because my thoughts won’t settle. I ponder on scenarios that could’ve been, would’ve been but honestly, shouldn’t have been. Missing him is the first mistake of my day, and as soon as I figured that out, life got better.

1. Remember to love yourself. Not in vague terms but literally, getting in front of that mirror and see yourself. Girl, get dolled up in your best garments and dance to Beyonce. Take yourself out on a coffee date, then relax in a hot bath while drinking a martini. Love being with you.

2. Don’t harp on why you’re single. Celebrate the time you have to explore and mingle. Smile at strangers, laugh with peers, and enjoy the moments of now, forget about later, and where your next “love” awaits. Live in the present.

3. Write a love letter. Fill it up with every romantic idea; seal it up and save it for a rainy day. Also, write a “break-up” letter, not an embarrassing text but a heartfelt message of “forget yous,” never send either; in the end, you’ll be compelled to rip it to pieces, and I say kudos to you.

4. Don’t cut your hair. Color it the shade you’ve been dreaming of for months. Buy an outfit that shouts, “I’m free.” Master that makeup regime you’ve yearned to show off. Sister, be the vision of yourself you have never foreseen.

October brings the Fall breeze, full of aesthetically pleasing leaves, and Halloween treats. Practice preserving your self peace and inner beauty and hone in on those icy Winter attitudes because love loves nobody who doesn’t love themself. If you were dumped or recently broke things off, I hope this helps, and don’t forget to appreciate the support systems surrounding you (family, friends, counselors & inner self).  

If you can’t write a letter, start with a poem. Here’s one of my old “thank you, next” poems from my high school days:

Tuition-Free

If you are reading this,

you’re forgiven for the assault.

My heart has healed, and each piece is back in place. 

It took a while, but surprisingly we didn’t need tape. 

Made me stronger, even a little meaner, guess that’s why dudes look away now?

Try to run them away now .. not willing to play games now.

Thank you for giving me free education because this lesson was worth the time spent. Looking back, it was apparent of what could’ve been. Now I’m okay with us only being friends.

• moving on
• relationships
• shout out to my ex