How-To Not Let Society Dictate Your Identity

Accepting yourself is a hard task to accomplish, especially after growing up in a society that forces ideas and beliefs on who you should be, what you should be, and how you present yourself to others. You have to remember everyone is different. I was that person that didn’t want to be a part of the crowd or another pretty face, and that made it exceedingly hard for me. I wanted to be accepted for who I am, how I think, what I do and not for how I look or appear to others. That doesn’t mean I want to be put down. I want to be seen as beautiful, worthy, good enough, and a lot of other things just like everyone else. But I learned a long time ago, even if you do try to fit society’s standards you’ll never be good enough…

As the younger sister, I had to watch her grow up. I watched her put on makeup, grow a figure, meet boys (a lot of them), and a lot of other things. I feel like my life was the complete opposite of hers. I never wanted to learn how to do makeup. I never fully grew into what most people want to look like as a woman, and I definitely never had boys gawk over me because I never really gave anyone the time of day. Then one day, I realized something. I don’t know what it was or how to explain it. I just knew that all I needed was to be myself as I had always been. If you hide from who you are, no one will ever find you, but if you let your inner self out you’ll meet amazing people that want to know you for you and not your looks or anything of the sort. Anyone worth knowing won’t care, and the ones that do care don’t matter. My grandma taught me that.

All of us are human. We come in different shapes, colors, and sizes! You have people that are funny, serious, dramatic, busy, scared, and a whole bunch of other things. Be who you are. For no one other than yourself. If you aren’t you for you, what’s the point? Society is a fabricated idea. Humans invented it, but that doesn’t mean that it was a great idea. I believe when you’re able to wake up, feel like you can breathe with relief, knowing you are who you are and being okay with it- then you’ve passed the hardest test life can throw at you. 

Ways to not let society dictate your identity:

• Don’t compare yourself to others

• Remember other people’s success doesn’t make you a failure

• Don’t be ashamed of who you are

• Remind yourself of your worth

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  Don’t act like someone you aren’t

• Find what makes you happy in life and hold it close to you

• Don’t let anyone put you down or change your mind on the choices you’ve made

• Be bold in what makes you you

It’s okay to want to get to know who you are deep down. It might take a while or it might take only a second, but who you are and how you see yourself is so important. It determines your entire future. If you love yourself, there’s not much anyone can say or do to make you feel differently. I still feel inadequate sometimes compared to a lot of other girls that guys are attracted to because we’re human and it’s hard not to compare ourselves. But then I remind myself that everyone is different and I’m only in a competition with myself- to be a better me each day. Do what you want, eat what you want, be who you want to be. Make yourself happy, and everything else will follow. You’ll stop relying on other people for happiness because you’ll have taught yourself how to be happy in your unique way. To me, that’s the best weapon against whatever life may throw at you: self-confidence and self-love.

• mental health
• self-love