A Letter to Yourself

Dear You,

Stop putting yourself down. Stop putting others’ feelings before your own. It’s good that you’re compassionate and caring, but you need to also think of yourself. Stop stressing that no one will like you. Stop stressing that everyone will leave. Not everything in life is supposed to turn out bad. Other people have wonderful lives, why do you think you can’t?

This is something I tell myself a lot. Different things stress me out, and everyone is different. That’s okay. I think we need to trust ourselves and our friends more. Trust that not everyone will leave as they did. Trust that you know who loves you as you love them. Trusting is hard, I know from experience. Once you get that out of the way, though, it’s like a burden is lifted from you. When I feel sad and stressed I feel like I can’t breathe like I need to cry, and like my heart is in the corner with a blanket hiding. It doesn’t have to be like that, though.

Friends love, care, support, uplift, and listen to each other. If your friends don’t do that for you then they aren’t real friends. If they are real friends and you’re scared or upset, tell them. They’ll be there to have your back. They’ll listen and give you advice where needed. I don’t know what I would’ve done without my best friend of six years. She’s been by my side. We were in the band together, we came to college together, and we still hang out once or more times a week. Even if we’re busy, if the other is having a nervous break down we’re there without a second thought.

If you put yourself out there too much with too much kindness and compassion, don’t put yourself down for it. The world needs more of you. Sometimes I go out of my way for the people I love and once I do it sometimes I overthink it and question, “Was this too much?” or “Do I seem obsessive or desperate?” when in reality I just do it because of how big my heart is for them. I would want and hope that they would do the same for me if I was ever in their shoes. So stop making a mountain out of a molehill. Be yourself. Be the loving, caring, and empathetic person you are. No matter what your characteristics are, we need you. If your friends ever decide that “You did do too much” or “You do seem obsessive or desperate” then they weren’t meant to be in your life and that means someone else out there is waiting to meet a friend (or more than a friend) like you. No one else is like you, so be the best you you can be for yourself and everything else will follow.

• self-love