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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at LSU chapter.

If you are suffering from abuse, this one’s for you. You are NOT alone.

One of my favorite authors, r.h.sin, posted a quote on instagram while I was in a relationship that made me view our relationship in a completely different light. The quote read, “Telling a woman you love her while continuing to mistreat her is mental and emotional abuse. Stop.”

    Now I know what you must be thinking: Why would she stay in a relationship with a man who mistreats her? Over the course of several months, my closest family and friends begged me to leave him and tried their best to make me see that he treated me terribly; however, I did not want to believe it. To me, everything was so perfect. Why would I want to leave him? I always made up excuses and stood up for him, saying things like, “Oh, he was just having a bad day, he didn’t mean to call me that.” I ended up pushing my family away, shutting out my friends, and becoming someone I barely recognized; but, it was all okay because I became who he wanted me to become. 

    Months later after practically losing everyone, I came across that post on Instagram and so many things began to click. The names he called me were not okay. It was not okay that he controlled who I could and could not talk to. It was not okay that he always made me feel like everything was always my fault. I deserved so much more than the treatment I received and maybe I knew that the whole time, but I was too scared to do anything about it. When I finally realized this, it felt like it was way too late to reach out for help, so I kept suffering in silence and hoping everything would get better. A lot of thoughts went through my head at that time, such as: How could someone say they love me, but treat me so poorly? The short answer is: they didn’t love me at all. 

 If this is something you’re going through right now, let me save you some time and tell you that the relationship will not get any better. Someone has to give you tough love. I hoped for so long that things would improve, that he would change. I hoped that maybe he’d try a little harder, or that I’d finally be good enough for everything to work out.  I know now that what I was holding onto wasn’t healthy. 

    There is so much more to my story, but if you are suffering in silence from emotional abuse, please know that you are not alone and it is NOT your fault. No matter what the other person says, whether it be your boyfriend, girlfriend, friend, or family member, you are not what they say you are. You are strong. You are a fighter. You are amazing. You are a survivor. I hope you find the strength to leave the toxic situation you’re in. Here are the five things that helped me get through tough times like this:

  1. Reach out for help

  2. Don’t be afraid to leave 

  3. Forgive yourself 

  4. Stand up for yourself 

  5. Remind yourself constantly that you are more than what you have been through

If you feel you need more help, don’t be afraid to reach out to the Dating Abuse and Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-866-331-9474 

 

Hey y'all my name is Rachel Trimble. I am from Pineville, Louisiana and I am a senior at LSU studying Business Management.
Dominique is a senior at Louisiana State University. She is an active member of her sorority, Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc., an Associate Justice on the LSU University Court, and Vice President of the LSU NAACP chapter. She enjoys British period dramas, getting manicures, reading the New York Times, and ice cream. She also runs her personal blog, Fearless & Favoured!