My Boyfriend and I Interviewed Our Moms and Compared Answers

Our mothers are our first contact in life, and their importance throughout the rest of our journey never ceases. For mother/mother figure appreciation week, I wanted to take the time to get some of my mom’s experiences down in writing. I also thought it would be a fun opportunity to have my boyfriend and I interview our moms with the same questions to then compare their answers. Though we grew up in different countries—him in Mexico and I in the United States—there are interesting parallels in the way our mothers raised us and continue to play a part in our lives. After all, if he and I found each other in Chicago of all places, it’s due in part to both of our mothers.

So, here’s to Theresa Foster and Sara Beas Vargas! Happy Mother Appreciation week with much love.

1. What’s your earliest memory? 

Theresa: I was about three years old around Christmas time and I remember being lifted up by my dad to put the star on top of the tree. All the pretty lights and the ornaments caught my attention, and Nat King Cole’s Christmas album was being played in the background. To this day I still remember it very fondly [and vividly.]

Sara: My earliest memory is of a cuckoo clock in Mexico in the house of my Tia Teresa — I must have been about 4 years old. I moved to Chicago when I was 5, so the fact that it was such a culture shock, I believe that most of my childhood memories from Mexico were wiped out. That clock is the first and only thing I remember from my life back in Mexico as a kid.

2. As a kid, what did you say you wanted to be when you grew up? 

Theresa: I always thought I would become a teacher or a veterinarian. My best friend who lived next door used to help me collect dead animals (like squirrels and rabbits) that had been hit, or any neighborhood pets like fish or guinea pigs and we would throw funerals for them and bury them in my backyard. The backyard is also where we would play “school” and I always fulfilled the role of teacher because no one else wanted to.

On a different note, I also loved making up skits and musical numbers that I made the neighbors and my siblings participate in and perform for anyone who would listen, so show business also crossed my mind a few times.

Sara: I never thought of an occupation, but I wanted to be a mom and have 3 kids (one would play the violin, one would play the cello and another one would play the piano). I really wanted to be a housewife living in Beverly Hills.

3. What’s the most trouble you ever got in as a child? 

Theresa: Well, when I was about nine I heard the ice cream truck on the next street over and really wanted some, but none of my older siblings or my parents were around to lend me some money so I got into my dad’s coin collection and used some of the coins to buy ice cream treats for my younger sister and I. I didn’t realize that they were valuable at the time. That’s one of the only times that I remember my dad being really upset with me.

Sara: It was when I accidentally broke the neighbor’s window. I didn’t know I had broken it and when my father asked me if I had broken it, I said no and he beat me with a belt for lying. My dad also beat me for making my brother wear my mother’s black bra, but it was worth it.

4. I know you enjoy traveling, can you name all the countries/cities you’ve visited?

Theresa: I’ve been to Canada, Germany, France, England, Spain, Greece, Hungary, Austria, and Brazil. Within the U.S., I’ve actually lived in a lot of different states and been to most of the major cities so it’s hard to list them all.

Sara: Cities that I’ve visited are Miami, St. Louis, Los Angeles, San Francisco, San Antonio, Dallas and many cities in Mexico such as Puerto Vallarta, Mazamitla, Mexico City and San Luis Potosi.

5. Out of those, what was your absolute favorite trip and why? 

Theresa: It’s so hard to choose because I had memorable experiences everywhere I’ve been. I guess I would have to say Spain though because it was the whole package deal. The music, the food, the scenery, the people, and the culture were all incredible. I went horseback riding in the Basque region through Eucalyptus trees, where the smell was absolutely wonderful. I also got to have fresh paella cooked on the beach on the Mediterranean and try various tapas that were made in all the local bars. Visiting castles and other old-world heritage sites was another highlight of that trip. 

Sara: My favorite trip is the collection of trips to Puerto Vallarta because the city is so close to my hometown and I love going to the beach with my family!

6. Is there one band or musical artist that you’ll never outgrow? 

Theresa: Right off the top of my head, of course, is James Taylor. It’s the first concert I ever brought you to when you were little and the artist that I’ve seen the most times live.

Sara: U2. U2 for life!

7. What’s one of the biggest things you struggled with while growing up? 

Theresa: Probably just finding my own identity and having confidence. I grew up as the eighth child out of nine, it was easy to get lost in that large of a family.

Sara: Getting felt up by the boys because I had big boobs.

8. How did you know that you were ready to get married? 

Theresa: After finishing Chiropractic college, it was that time of life when I was ready to move forward. I had a strong sense of commitment to being with one person to then share life with and to have my own family.

Sara: I didn’t – I was given an ultimatum (just kidding). I just took a leap of faith and it has led me to a beautiful life with my husband and my children.

9. How did you know that you were ready to have kids? 

Theresa: My whole life I always wanted to be a mom. Definitely not with as many kids as my own mom raised, but I enjoyed being with kids and taking care of my nieces and nephews. After settling down and finishing college, I had confidence that I was ready to be a mom.

Sara: My husband and I originally said we didn’t want to have kids, but our nephew was born and my husband said: “I think I want to have a baby”. And I just said “Ok”. And that’s it. (Mind you that we had been married for 5 years)

10. What qualities (both physical and personality) do you think I inherited from you? 

Theresa: Physically, I think we share the same hair and eye color, height, and smile. Personality wise, you and I are both curious, outgoing, friendly, intelligent, and creative. I made sure to do something creative like painting or coloring as well as something musical every single day with you when you were little. I loved making little crafts with you, and I’m glad you’ve continued to use your artistic talents into your adult life.

Sara: You are very noble, kind-hearted, patient, and you are just overall a nice person like me. Physically? We don’t look alike at all. You have no physical similarity to me except for your brain and intelligence.

11. What’s the funniest thing I ever did as a kid? 

Theresa: When you were around three you used to find little things around the house like decorations, coasters, candles etc. and wrap them up in kleenex, napkins, and sometimes even washcloths to re-gift them to us. You used up so many rolls of tape for those little presents. I think you did it almost every day for months, but it was so cute we just let you continue.

Sara: There was one time we went to our family ranch and you saw a dog poop on the side of a dirt road. Minutes later, you said you had to go to the bathroom, but we were nowhere near a toilet, so you insisted on stopping, got out of the car and squatted off the side of the road to take a dump. After you were done, you told your father “Papi, I pooped just like a dog!”

12. What’s your favorite memory with me from my childhood and from the last three years? 

Theresa: I loved playing in the waves and the sand on Lake Michigan in the summers when you were growing up. Those days will always be special to me. As for the last three years, I’ve loved visiting the Lavender festival in Palisade, CO with you the last three Julys. Combining it with the wine tasting this past summer now that you’re over 21 was really nice too.

Sara: From your childhood, my favorite memory of you is when I saw you and your brother competing in basketball and cheering you on as you played. Finding out later that you enjoyed getting cheered on by me and your father made the memory even better. From the last 3 years, my favorite memory of you was the Christmas lunch that you treated me to at the 95th floor of the John Hancock Building.

13. How has the notion of what it means to be a woman changed for you over time? 

Theresa: I was raised in a more traditional, conservative family as far as the roles that women were allowed to be in. I didn’t have a mom who really wanted to talk to me about puberty, so my older sister who was a nurse was really the one who took on that role. When you’re a young girl you tend to be more naive, you feel like you need to be validated and accepted by others, but learning to accept who I am and to love myself authentically is what became very clearly important to me as I grew up. The pressures that are put on women—that we’re supposed to be the best moms, best wives, successful career women, all while also maintaining our bodies to be viewed as “sexy” can be so devastating. Underneath all of that is the notion of learning how to balance the things that you truly care about. Finding your own inner strength and making it through all the things that life throws at you is what’s important. I guess I would say that I’m really happy to be living in the time that I am now with the “me too” movement and everything. I seriously hope that I can experience a woman being president in my lifetime. 

Sara: When I was young, I was a tomboy. I always felt like one of the guys, and I was treated as an equal because of that. But then, when I went through puberty, the boys began to treat me differently. Now they saw me in a sexual manner, and I found myself having to impose myself as a tough girl. That was my way of making them see me as one of the tough ones or one of the guys. As I grew older, I inevitably became, in my own manner, a feminist.

14. What one piece of advice would you give me for when I become a parent in the future? 

Theresa: Be patient, be a good example, and always trust your intuition. Last but not least, enjoy and savor all the time that you get with your future children because they grow up really fast. Do your best to make long-lasting memories. 

Sara: I encourage you to use your critical thinking skills and seriously analyze everything we did raising you and your brother. Consider whether you would do the same thing because, honestly, I think me and your father did an incredible job. We didn’t have anybody telling us how to do it, we did it by instinct and discipline; but you definitely have us for that advice and for anything else you may need in the future. 

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