Growing up, my grandmother always told me that those who are meant to be in your life will stay in your life, that if they are no longer meant to be a part of you then they won’t be. She said that this applied not only to romantic partners but to friendships as well. While my grandmothers’ wise words have proven to be true, it does not make losing a person any easier. Going through any sort of breakup is both challenging and emotional. However, I wholeheartedly believe that sometimes, parting ways from a friend is the only way.
It is extremely difficult to go from being close to someone to not having a relationship with them. Talking on the phone every day turns to unanswered text messages, and deep conversations transform into casual waves as you pass each other on campus. You may miss this person and the fun times that you had together, but sometimes those memories are meant to stay in the past.
It is important to consider why you had a falling out with this person.
Did you drift apart due to differences in schedules? Did you find out that they were talking about you behind your back? Sometimes friendships end because people change. That is okay. However, when navigating the emotions of a friendship breakup, it is important to consider what led to the breakup in the first place. Doing this can help you to explore the next steps in the friendship. You can choose to stay mutual, or you can choose to cut yourself off from the friendship completely. Navigating the emotions of a friendship breakup is tough, so exploring these emotions are important.
Use this time to self-reflect.
When did the friendship begin to change? What role did I play in the situation? Allowing yourself to reflect on the friendship can help you address any areas that you may need to work on personally. Reflection also allows you to look back on the friendship, focusing on the good times rather than any bad times that might have led to the falling out. This person was a part of your life for a reason. What was this reason? Would I be a different version of myself if this person was never a part of my life?
Keep the friendship breakup between you and the other person.
It is easy to take out frustrations on others, and it is even easier to talk about the person to others. Avoid infiltrating your opinions of the person onto others, as they should be able to formulate their opinions on their own. Just because your friendship ended does not mean that their relationship with others has to end as well.
Take the opportunity to meet new people!
Living in a pandemic has made it extremely difficult to meet new people on campus. That being said, just because you and your former best friend don’t sit at Starbucks to do work together anymore does not mean you have to sit alone. Invite someone from a class to do work with you. Reach out to someone you haven’t spoken to. A friendship breakup can provide you with the opportunities to meet new people who are meant to be in your life.