I Too Remember It All Too Well

Taylor brought back our memories. 

It was a warm night in December. We were at our friend’s party, and I heard something that changed the way I looked at you, but mostly us. 

“You’re not like you used to be.”

I have heard this so many times in my life, especially at that specific moment I was living through. But this time, it was different. Hearing this can be an amazing thing, a sign that you are evolving. Only did you know that was the thing that made my heart set apart from yours and brought me certainty among the doubts I had about you. 

The thing is that I had to change. I did not have a choice. Well, I did. But I chose myself for the first time, and to be honest, I have always chosen myself after that time. The truth is, you probably don’t know this, but you made it easier for me. 

Maybe you still ask yourself how I changed and why you couldn’t change too. I got to know myself. I remember our talk in that restaurant on a Saturday afternoon all too well. You asked if I was happy, and I said “yes,” with a broken smile. But I knew I’d be fine just thinking about the adventure I had ahead of me. 

I remember that stranger look all too well. It showed me that there’s so much more than settling down in a way I used to. That little smile with a hint of “I have seen you somewhere before” still brings me to hope to think about the people I’m still going to meet. I remember that story all too well. 

You may blame the summer love that happened that year, but we know it was stronger than that. Because, anyways, you are still here somehow, aren’t you? Always sneaking around to get the little information you can, hoping that it’d be all too well again one day. 

I know that night in December changed everything. That final dot that was missing was finally put in place. We were sitting on the curbside outside that party that was supposed to be great. I remember how hard it was all too well. You drove away crying, and I stayed there for a couple minutes until my friend came looking for me. I saw you turn the corner in your red car that you loved so much, and I whispered to myself that it was the right thing to do. I knew that a part of me would always be with you. The young me, sweet and with dreamy eyes, wearing that shirt that you loved so much, that’s how you’d remember me. 

If I said that there was a specific day that it all began, I’d probably be wrong. There are so many knots and tangles along the way. Every beginning is made by each choice we make. When I got to the place I so aimed to be, someone asked me if I wished I could change something in my past. Maybe give it a try from far. I admit that this question got me thinking about it for a few days, but the truth is that I wouldn’t. Everything led to the best. 

There we are again. You asked me later if I remembered about us. The truth is, I remember it all too well. Every moment, memory, and detail I carry with me. I was there too.