There’s no fixed script.
For a long time in a woman’s life, there was a predetermined script for them to follow. It was limited to what society expected from them and didn’t give them much freedom to choose what was the right way for them to grow into adulthood.
With the end of Women’s History Month, I think a significant reflection on the different story plots a woman can live in is needed. There are so many narratives we can live today, and the world is full of opportunities. It is our time to shine.
One of the major pressures an adult woman faces is the constant reminder that she should have reached certain stages of her life by a specific age. For example, thinking that a woman should be in a serious relationship with a partner by 25 and probably think of starting a family no further than their 30s. However, life stages are not linear. There is no deadline to reach specific life events. A woman has the power to write their own narrative that complies with what she desires for her life.
The constant societal pressure led many women to feel unfulfilled when they have so many things in life that would give them that sense of purpose and fulfillment. Either through their academic life, career, family, kids, hobbies, health, relationships, or anything absolutely at the right place in their lives. But this external insistence on following the rules imposed in society seems to hunt everyone around.
The point here is to realize that every story is unique by its own means. There is no fixed script to follow. Differently from the play, you may have participated in your school years; in real life, you can and should go off-script.
It’s possible to restart any moment in life. It’s possible to have everything you want in a different order than the rest of the world seems to be doing. It’s totally fine to create your own narrative (as you should).
“This life is mine alone. So I have stopped asking people for directions to places they’ve never been.”
—Glennon Doyle
Knowing yourself and taking time to find your inner truth is much needed when talking about deciding which route to take. Who says you can’t start a family before your career? Who says you can’t have the after marrying the love of your life? There are no rules to play by, except the only rule is to follow your heart.
Living the life of your dreams makes you an empowered woman, whatever the order you do things. Just because you may not be doing things in the exact order most women did previously, it doesn’t mean you’re not having any of it in your life.
The constant pressure we women put on ourselves is undoubtedly one that makes us feel stagnated or stuck in second gear in our twenties. Every woman’s life is different and has many factors that change its course. Depending on the moment you’re living through, it’s not the time to find that special someone, or it’s the perfect time to have someone. It’s time to start your career or to start over at school. But feeling the need to be in a specific place in life by comparing ourselves is definitely not the nicest route to take.
So, here’s a golden piece of advice: live your life as if no one is watching. What would you do if no one was there to judge you? What would be your narrative?